BRAMPTON, ON – Saying that they have been forced to make sacrifices because of the cost of living crisis, Loblaw Corporation has opted for a more budget-friendly No Name president over cont…
First Canadian to orbit moon in attempt to find affordable housing
CAPE CANAVERAL – Astronaut Jeremy Hansen, a colonel in the RCAF, will become the first Canadian to orbit the moon in an effort to find affordable housing. “Catherine and I have three kids, …
Toronto police ask for budget increase to more equitably beat up residents
TORONTO – Following newly revealed statistics proving that Toronto Police Services uses force against BIPOC residents far more often than it does white ones, Chief James Ramer has asked the…
Ford apologizes for majority of COVID tests going to private schools, says they should have gone to real estate developers instead
TORONTO – Following a Toronto Star investigation revealing that more COVID tests went to private schools than daycares, paramedics, jails, and homeless shelters combined, Premier Doug Ford …
Freedom convoy compares selves to Terry Fox, who famously crossed Canada to protest life saving medicine
OTTAWA – Protestors and organizers of what is being called the “Freedom Convoy” by participants, say they are carrying on the legacy of legendary Canadian activist Terry Fox, who they say i…
Business refusing to enforce vaccine passport has been violating labour laws for years in preparation for this moment
TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome…
Toronto police demand G20 victims accept apology and disperse
TORONTO – Speaking through a megaphone from behind a line of riot police, Toronto police chief James Ramer warned over 1000 people unjustly arrested and detained during the 2010 G-20 summit…
Government promises to fulfill promises it promised five years ago
OTTAWA – In a speech from the throne opening the new session of Parliament, the Liberal Party outlined their plan to get around to doing what they promised five years ago. “We’re so sorry, …
Conservative Party announces this the best they could do
OTTAWA – In an announcement over Zoom from its headquarters, the Conservative Party of Canada revealed after a months-long campaign, that this, this, is the best the party has to offer. “Lo…
