Ghazal Baradari-Ghiami, Author at The Beaverton

Local jerkwad only on day 3 of quarantine

GUELPH, ON – Early this morning local fool Hansen Lund posted an obnoxiously long Instagram story detailing his third day of quarantine, much to the horror and displeasure of his followers.…


Feminist win! Girl boss lays off thousands

WATERLOO, ON – CEO and HBIC of Sqork Media, Cheryl Hawkins recently laid off thousands of employees in a broader attempt to cut down costs. In a statement to the press, Hawkins said, “Thoug…


Boyfriend sentenced to daily skincare routine

RICHMOND HILL, ON – A decision rendered by a small claims court has ordered Bryan Ramos to begin implementing a daily skincare routine at the behest of his girlfriend, Vanessa Adeyemi. “Alt…