Terrified mask escapes Scheer’s face
TORONTO – A shocked and frightened face mask has escaped Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer’s face after the traumatic experience of having to listen to what the opposition leader says. The …
Local ally imagines how proud his Black friends would be about this social media post if he had any
Lethbridge, AB – Local white man Jeffrey Travers is having the time of his life imagining all the praise he would receive from his imaginary Black friends for his pro-Black Lives Matter soc…
Ennio Morricone Passes Away in Prolonged Standoff
AMERICAN WILD WEST – Award-winning composer of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Ennio Morricone was found dead last night during a Mexican Standoff in a Civil War Graveyard. Prior to his p…
Trudeau just one ethics commissioner investigation away from free ethics commissioner investigation
OTTAWA – Having earned his third ethics commissioner investigation in 5 years, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is now just one more investigation away from a freebie. “A lot of people say tho…
But if we abolish police who will cut the line at Tim Hortons?
By: Denis Williams As many across this great nation have called for abolishing police forces, I find myself wondering what a world would look like without cops. Perhaps most disturbingly, I wonde…
Trudeau punishes UN by sending them most boring ambassador he could think of
OTTAWA – Following the UN decision to not give Canada the Security Council seat Justin Trudeau spent years campaigning for, Trudeau has responded by naming Bob Rae, the least exciting ambas…
Fruit fly just wants to suck and fuck on your watermelon rinds
KITCHENER, ON – A notorious fruit fly that has been pestering the home of a local couple, has finally been captured early this morning. When his motives were questioned, the fruit fly simpl…
Media outlets that just committed to anti-racism stance take cheat day to praise white terrorist
OTTAWA — Despite widespread commitments last month to confront systemic racism within journalism, Canadian media outlets have allowed themselves a quick cheat day to praise the armed, white terro…
Trump says Biden’s poll numbers wouldn’t be so high if they stopped testing voters
Washington D.C. – US president Trump has issued a statement saying that Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden is only polling ahead of him because they are asking voters for their opinion. “Th…
