Lethbridge, AB – Local white man Jeffrey Travers is having the time of his life imagining all the praise he would receive from his imaginary Black friends for his pro-Black Lives Matter social media post.
“I think they’d be so happy,” said Travers about the reaction of his Black friends he does not have. “They’d be like ‘you’re so woke Jeffrey!’ and probably want to high-five me which I would gladly do!”
Organizers of Black Lives Matter affiliated protests have been critical of the short-lived white support for the Black Lives Matter movement and the lack of self-awareness in how white people support them. Travers is unaware of these criticisms however, as he does not follow any Black Lives Matter affiliated channels.
“I just saw the protests on CP24, I would have totally been there if I imagined my Black friends reminded me to go,” stated Travers. “I thought sharing my post to Twitter and tagging Kanye West, Beyonce, and Eminem would probably be enough!”
Travers then pointed out he was “doing the work” offline as well by purchasing White Fragility. When asked what his favourite part of the book was, Jeffrey stated, “The cover is really great, also have you seen the back? Some great little bits on there…”
A detailed review of Travers’ 1,500 Facebook friends did locate one individual who was Black. “Jeffrey Travers? Oh yeah,” said Andrew Curtis. “I went with a white friend to this party where no one else was Black and he came up to me and said ‘sort of feels like Get Out in here huh?’ I mean it did feel like Get Out but I think it was his party, so he chose who to invite? Anyway he sort of took my phone and added himself. I’ll probably just delete him after this interview.”
When asked if Jeffrey’s post was worthy of his praise, Andrew asked “What does ‘All/Black Lives Matter’ even mean? What side is he on? Also any ally who is excited to be praised about doing the bare minimum is not really an ally at all.” Jeffrey was ecstatic at the news as a black person had confirmed he might be an ally and that he could finally stop posting about Black Lives Matter.
In related news, Jeffrey is sure one of his female friends will like his MeToo post any time now.