News in Photos....
Woman who paid taxes for first time now starting every sentence with “as a taxpayer”
VANCOUVER – Lillian Osterhouse is pleased to finally have made enough money this year to pay taxes and has some very strong opinions about how that money should be spent. “As a taxpayer, I just ...
Saskatchewan man listing Provinces always forgets to include Saskatchewan
REGINA – Tim Hardstark, a life-long resident of the Province of Saskatchewan, always forgets to include Saskatchewan when attempting to list all 10 provinces and 3 territories. “Let’...
New law makes it legal to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars
OTTAWA – The federal government passed a new law this morning making it legal for any Canadian, of any age, to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars. “Obviously vigilante justice and pr...
Half-vaxxed man goes back to work, leaves un-vaxxed half at home
HAMILTON, ON – Alf Keeling, a 37-year-old marketing manager recently got his first dose of the Moderna vaccine, and was given the OK to return to working in his office – but only the vacci...
Experts advise melting down your Golden Globes to make an Oscar
LOS ANGELES, CA – With Tom Cruise returning his Golden Globe awards over allegations of a lack of diversity and ethics at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, PR professionals recommend anyo...
City of Ottawa announces $2.9 million housing program for Porsches
OTTAWA – The City of Ottawa has announced a generous contribution to a public housing development that will provide needy Porsches unable to find luxury homes and four car garages. Throughout th...
NHL announces Canucks’ current season will still be happening at beginning of next season
VANCOUVER – The NHL has announced that, in order to get their full 56-game season in the books, the Vancouver Canucks will be continuing to play games from the 2020-2021 during the 2021-2022 sea...
4 COVID-Safe activities to do this summer if Doug Ford’s buddies say it’s OK
After 14 months of COVID we’re all anxious to get back to fun summer activities. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like we’ll be fully vaccinated until September/October, but there are s...
Report: Casa Loma just some rich guy’s house
TORONTO – After decades of research, local historian Dr. Suraj Burnman has conclusively reported that Casa Loma is just some rich guy’s house. “The way people from Toronto talk about it, you’d t...
