VICTORIA, BC – Following Alberta Premier Danielle Smith’s continued threats about separating from the rest of Canada, local climate change scientist Debra Grimmlet is having a hard ti…
Trump sends Carney a congratulatory basket of deported children
OTTAWA – Following Prime Minister Mark Carney’s successful campaign in the recent federal election, US President Donald Trump is sending him a gift basket filled with the only US export tha…
REPORT: Meeting you didn’t pay attention in could’ve been an email you didn’t read
MONTREAL – A new study into your workplace’s efficiency habits has found that all the meetings you zone out in at work could easily have been replaced with an email that you would’ve preten…
Cast of “Come From Away” pitch new ending where the Americans get beat up
TORONTO – The cast and crew of the current Toronto production of Come From Away have debuted a new ending where instead of forming lasting bonds of friendship, the people of Gander, Newfoun…
Canada seeks new country to rip off every part of our culture from
OTTAWA – As Canada works to separate our economy from the increasingly chaotic United States, the Canadian government is also searching for a new country to shamelessly copy for our entire …
Poilievre refuses to believe carbon tax is dead until a body is produced
OTTAWA – Despite Prime Minister Mark Carney announcing that his government would be axing the carbon tax, opposition leader Pierre Poilievre refuses to believe that the dreaded bill is gone…
Trump assures Canadians he will ruin the rest of the world’s economy too
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of accusations that he is singling Canada out with his economic attacks, US President Donald Trump has assured the press that he will also eventually financia…
Experts fear Trump administration will corrupt beacon of integrity Doug Ford
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Ontario Premier Doug Ford currently visiting White House officials, some analysts are concerned US President Donald Trump might try to corrupt the earnest. “Up here i…
Ford unsure how to fight back against country with already ruined healthcare system
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is reportedly starting to feel he may have bitten off more than he can chew in his attacks on the United States after realizing they are immun…
Local cat thinks she’s better than you and is probably right
KINGSTON, ON – Following a careful side-by-side comparison between your life and that of that one cat in your neighborhood who acts like you aren’t worth the dirt on her paws, a panel of ex…
