Cambridge, MA – After an exhaustive consultation with mathematicians and quantum computer programmers, singer Cher and songwriter Diane Warren have rewritten the 1989 hit ‘If I Could Turn B…
Alberta election called, voters face stark choice between environmental devastation and environmental devastation with slightly better schools
CALGARY – Premier Rachel Notley has announced the Alberta provincial election will take place on April 16, tasking Albertans with choosing between a party promising to destroy the environme…
Poll shows Canadian consumers want electric eel powered vehicles and they want them now
OTTAWA – A new poll has revealed that nearly 64% of Canadians want electric eels to replace gasoline as the primary transportation power source in Canada, and they want the conversion to ha…
Local woman can’t find anything she owns despite living in 200 sq. ft. micro apartment
VANCOUVER – Susan Jones is tired of being unable to locate a single object she needs despite living in an apartment small enough for her to traverse in a single hop. “I know what I’m lookin…
“But I’m a white!” David Frum screams as he’s picked up by ICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. – David Frum was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents today during a tense exchange following a sweep of undocumented immigrants in the Atlantic offi…
Barbie celebrates 60th birthday by retiring from 200 jobs
Malibu, CA – Barbie is turning 60 years old today and she’s marking entering her seventh decade by doing what many sexagenarians do: retiring from hundreds of jobs. “It’s not that I don’t l…
Three superhero movies this decade with female leads? What’s next? A FOURTH!?!
By: Greg Anderson Captain Marvel comes out this weekend, and I have to say, this onslaught of female superheroes makes me very uncomfortable. This decade alone we already had one, then the other …
Parents trying to decipher alternative school’s crystal-based report cards
VANCOUVER – Sherri and Tucker Jackson love the support and individualized learning their daughter Braylyn receives at her alternative elementary school, but they were slightly confused when…
New study shows best place in Canada to be a woman is Kingston, worst place is Trudeau’s cabinet
KINGSTON, ON – The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternative have published their yearly rankings of the best and worst places in Canada to be a woman, with Kingston, Ontario coming in as the …
Politicians who addressed United We Roll rally insist they were only supporting environmental devastation, not white supremacy
OTTAWA – Several right wing politicians including Andrew Scheer are clarifying that their attendance at a pro-pipeline/anti-immigration rally last week was solely meant to champion the envi…