LOS ANGELES – A new live-action Harry Potter television show is reportedly in very early development at HBO Max, and while no producers, directors, writers or actors have yet been attached,…
Jason Kenney demands U.S. compensate Alberta for being led by Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is insisting that after Jason Kenney lost billions investing in the Keystone XL pipeline which President Joe Biden has cancelled, the U.S. government…
Julie Payette: I’m so sorry that my staffers are all a bunch of pussies
OTTAWA – Following news accounts of a scathing independent report into her workplace behaviour, Julie Payette resigned yesterday as Canada’s Governor General and released a public resignati…
Canada happy for friend who just got out of terrible relationship
OTTAWA – Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a long-term relationship with a real piece of shit. “It’s hard, when you see a powerful nation, one…
Chris Evans rumoured to be in talks to reprise his universally beloved Marvel film character, Johnny Storm
LOS ANGELES – Superhero film fans are ecstatic at the news that Chris Evans is negotiating with Marvel to return to the role that made him an A-list celebrity and household name: Johnny Sto…
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
Washington D.C. – The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined to commit as much treason as he can during his sh…
B.C. makes controversial decision to give first 4000 doses of COVID vaccine to stars of The CW’s Riverdale
VANCOUVER – The government of B.C. has announced how they will be dispensing the 4000 doses of the coronavirus vaccine the province is set to receive next week, and all of them are going to…
Local absinthe drinker hasn’t been to a baroque midnight ritual in months
VICTORIA – Stephen Thackston, an absinthe aficionado and self-described ‘weird dandy,’ wants the public to know how hard physical distancing has been on the neo-fop community. “Do you have …
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal activity carried out during his presidency will result in jail time for his fav…
Alberta doesn’t understand why it needs a mask mandate if the provinces around it have mask mandates
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta is relieved that since B.C. and Saskatchewan have finally implemented long-awaited mask mandates to help stop the spread of COVID-19, Alberta can now av…