OTTAWA – Following a slew of anti-abortion laws being passed in the United States and heightened concerns that the same thing might happen in Canada, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer has a…
Breaking: man lies about dating teenager, but not in the way you’d expect
LOS ANGELES – Musician and former famous person Moby is in the news for resolutely insisting he dated actress Natalie Portman when he was in his mid-thirties and she was a Harvard freshman …
Fans angry Game of Thrones ended with all contenders saying “good game” and slapping hands
VANCOUVER – Fans around the world are furious about the Game of Thrones series finale, which consisted of nearly eighty uninterrupted minutes of the characters congratulating each other for…
John Wick 3 Review: Is this, like, feminism?
Feminism is a collection of social and political movements with the goal of achieving equality of the genders. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum is a stylized action movie about a highly tr…
Alabama outlaws having an unoccupied uterus
MONTGOMERY, AL – In a contentious vote of 25 to 6, the legislature of the state of Alabama has passed a comprehensive bill making it a crime for anyone residing in the state to have an empt…
Stranger Things plagiarism lawsuit dropped after Duffer Brothers prove they stole everything from other sources
HOLLYWOOD – A lawsuit brought by a filmmaker who alleged that the Netflix megahit show Stranger Things was based on his ideas has been withdrawn after the Duffer Brothers and Netflix were a…
Rest of Canada wishes B.C. and Alberta would just get it over with and fuck already
EVERYWHERE IN CANADA EXCEPT ALBERTA AND B.C. – After months of squabbles between Alberta and B.C., the other Canadian provinces are sick and tired of seeing them at each other’s throa…
Court rules that mansion’s portal to hell not valid reason for buyer backing out of real estate deal
VANCOUVER – A BC court has ruled that nondisclosure of the existence of a portal to hell on a property does not entitle the purchaser to a refund of their deposit if they chose to terminate…
Male feminist superhero fighting crime in heels to show solidarity
NEW YORK – The leader of the world’s most elite mixed gender superhero team is demonstrating his heroic nature in a different way this week by wearing heels to work in what he calls a gestu…
“I’m running for president,” Joe Biden whispers into the ears of an uncomfortable nation
WASHINGTON D.C. – Joe Biden announced his third run for the Democratic presidential nomination today by slinking his arms around the waist of The United States of America, smelling its hair…