CALGARY – After years of trying to pass one of the ubiquitous CAPTCHA tests that are designed to be inscrutable to artificial intelligences, local humanoid robot LV82245, known to her frien…
Studies show monsters mashing earlier every year due to climate change
VICTORIA – After an exhaustive overview of decades of data including eyewitness accounts, the majority of monster experts have reached the conclusion that climate change has led to a signif…
Alberta announces plan to grow VHS industry
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has announced a sweeping plan to increase the size of Alberta’s VHS industry in an attempt to give the ailing province a much needed economic boost. “For…
Jason Kenney calls Alberta’s bountiful harvest a ‘godsend,’ oddly cagey about which god
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney has been celebrating the bumper harvest Alberta is expecting to bring in this year, but has been reticent to name which deity he holds responsible for this agricultu…
Jason Kenney furious that throne speech didn’t contain a single poem praising the oil industry
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has released a scathing response to this year’s throne speech in which he excoriated the federal government for not presenting a single sonnet, ode o…
“The extra C stands for Canada,” says newly christened Cconservative Party
OTTAWA – Canada’s official opposition party has unveiled a new logo and a new name to go with it, and are proudly inviting Canadians to say hello to the new Cconservatives. “We’re putting C…
B.C. NDP celebrate low COVID numbers by gathering large amounts of people indoors to vote
VICTORIA – B.C. Premier John Horgan has been riding a wave of good poll numbers due in no small part to the success B.C. has had keeping coronavirus infections in the province down, and the…
Trump endorsed by Pseudoscientific American Magazine
DALLAS – Following the news that Scientific American has endorsed a presidential candidate for the first time in its 175 year history, its rival publication, Pseudoscientific American, the …
Vancouver experiencing severe Mothman infestation
VANCOUVER – The Lower Mainland is witnessing an explosive increase in the area’s Mothman population, with experts calling it the largest cryptid infestation they’ve seen in deca…
Astrophysicists prove Big Bang was result of gender reveal party gone wrong
STANFORD – The physics world has been turned on its head today by incontrovertible proof that our material universe began when a gender reveal party 15 billion years ago resulted in an expl…