Self-described “nostalgia junkie” Alex Kaur recently turned back the clock when he decided to bang pots in celebration of healthcare workers instead of angrily protesting them. “Everyone i...
Protesters outside of hospital apparently unaware of where laws are made
CALGARY – According to eyewitnesses, a group of anti-vaccine mandate protestors outside of the Foothills Medical Centre appear thoroughly confused as to where or even how Canada passes laws. Rep...
Antivaxxer spends day protesting hospital where he’ll spend next month intubated
TORONTO – Local anti-vaccine protestor Brayden Crosby, 32, spent today demonstrating against COVID-19 vaccine mandates outside the hospital where he will coincidentally be admitted for chronic C...
Workgroup really wishes Gavin and Janice would stop flirting in the Google Doc
VICTORIA – Employees of Hendersin Inc. are getting extremely uncomfortable at the increasingly flirtatious amendments being made by two of their coworkers to a group Google Doc. “I have nothing ...
“Why won’t someone do something about these terrible hospital protests,” says Doug Ford
TORONTO – As Anti-Vaxxers conduct aggressive, threatening protests outside hospitals across Ontario, many Ontarians are expressing outrage and wondering why government officials don’t do m...
Bored construction worker fantasizes about standing behind different politician during campaign rally
ST. CATHARINES – Local construction worker Peter Wagner, who’s wearing a hardhat and standing with a neutral expression at Liberal MP Randall Turner’s campaign rally, has admitted he’s having fantasie...
O’Toole promises to personally babysit your child
GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has offered to personally babysit every Canadian child instead of funding new childcare spaces. “If elected as your prime minister, I will c...
Trudeau nervous about losing job, suddenly extends CRB
OTTAWA – In response to recent forecasts that he may not have a job for much longer, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a sudden extension to CRB. “The Canada Recovery Benefit was introduced ...
Vancouver begins gentrifying Stanley Park to price coyotes out of area
VANCOUVER — In response to the recent spate of coyote attacks in Stanley Park, the city of Vancouver debuted an action plan yesterday to humanely relocate the animals from the popular wilderness attra...
New Rogers Infinite Plus deal gives unlimited data for your mortal soul
Rogers has revealed a brand new plan that gives unlimited data for low, low cost of your mortal soul. “It is but a trifle. A small thing.” says Yog Sothothery, high priest of Rogers Communication Divi...
