Mark Hill, Author at The Beaverton

Sex playlist a little heavy on the banjo

REGINA – According to sexually frustrated sources, Charlie Walker is facing criticism for trying to set a romantic mood with an excess of banjo music. “Look, I get it, the right twanging chord ca…

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Gift certificate squandered

CALGARY – Frank Benton has wasted the $150 Best Buy gift card his parents gave him for Christmas, despite spending weeks carefully thinking about how to use it. Local sources report that Benton h…

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Baby smells weird again 

CALGARY — According to local sources, the Weaver family baby is smelling suspicious again after a brief period of olfactory normality.  “Well, it’s not the diaper,” said Michael Weaver, after tak…

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Amateur magician pulls most of rabbit out of hat

EDMONTON – Rookie magician Marty Merlin has shocked and amazed onlookers at Trevor White’s ninth birthday party by removing most of a rabbit from his top hat. “Behold, Peter the Third in all his …

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