Rogers has revealed a brand new plan that gives unlimited data for low, low cost of your mortal soul. “It is but a trifle. A small thing.” says Yog Sothothery, high priest of Rogers Communication…
True-Crime Podcaster is a little too excited that friend is missing
Hamilton, Ontario – Friends and family are asking for any information about the disappearance of Thomas McQuade, no one more so than acquaintance and true crime podcaster, Leigh Hallwood. “…
10 fake celebrity facts we made up on the fly because you demand content
This is what you want, isn’t it? Just a bunch of facts that you can regurgitate to your friends while you’re out having fun? Well, there’s nothing left to learn at this point, everyone knows ever…
Comedy industry not sure if it can survive without physical location for sexual predators to thrive
New York, NY – With the closure of more and more comedy clubs and improv theatres due to COVID-19, many experts are wondering whether the industry can survive without brick and mortar space…
Breaking: Irresponsible friend offering to babysit as a ‘favour’
Victoria, BC – In an act that witnesses described as ‘misguided’ and ‘galling”, well known irresponsible friend, Toby Gortham has offered to babysit David and Carly Worthing’s 2-year-old so…
Incels rejoice! A Chad and Stacy have broken up
OTTAWA – The Involuntarily Celibate community received a giant boon after news that a couple comprised of both a Stacy and a Chad have broken up. With further news breaking that Chad Cunnin…
Family selling van that each of their children lost their virginity in
BATHURST, NB – A 2008 Honda Odyssey that made multiple trips through Canada’s East Coast and was a hub for horny teens to lose their virginity in is up for sale. Rod, patriarch of the Delon…
Designated driver drunk on power
Phelpston, ON – After an hour at Gabe Newton’s 23rd Birthday Bash designated driver Mark Lougheed, drunk on power, has decreed that he is ready to leave and has decided that all those he br…
Breaking: Pope on balcony just to hack a dart
VATICAN CITY – Gathering in the thousands to hear him speak, parishioners were disappointed this Good Friday when Pope Francis came out on to the papal balcony just to open up a pack of Bel…
Couple concerned they’ll have to live up to their overly ambitious sexts
Peterborough, ON – After a pre-work make out session this morning, local couple Dirk Rosar and Kristen Lamers exchanged what sources are calling “highly ambitious” sexual text messages with…