Nostalgic win! This man banged pots for healthcare workers instead of yelling at them - The Beaverton

Nostalgic win! This man banged pots for healthcare workers instead of yelling at them

Self-described “ junkie” Alex Kaur recently turned back the clock when he decided to bang pots in celebration of healthcare workers instead of angrily protesting them.

“Everyone is feeling a little wistful these days,” began the twenty-seven year old Kaur, from his apartment balcony rocking chair. “It’s why we have all these remakes and reboots – like the Friends reunion and Gossip Girl. I think it’s because our present is just an unrelenting nightmare of unstoppable pandemics, creeping authoritarianism, and hopeless climate change? Anyways, I dunno?”

In regards to the pot banging, Kaur explained that he wanted to harken back to that quaint, wholesome time of 14 months ago. “You know, when folks held the door open for others and families would gather around to watch a great American television program and people weren’t making healthcare workers out to be the villains for trying to save our lives, but instead we were honouring them as heroes! Ah, those were the days, those were the days….”

According to Kaur, he also dug through his personal archives to find and stream the “we’re all in this together” covid commercials. “…because even though we’re staying apart,” quoted Kaur, in a dreamy tone under a sombre yet inspirational piano track. “We can still find ways to come together. Such a bygone era, eh? Look at all these people clapping and cheering in slow motion! Look at this teary eyed nurse! Are those high-rise flare jeans? Whao, what a throwback! Shelve these away with the North American House Hippo advertisements, I guess.”

Kaur then went on to reminisce on how back in the day, no one batted an eye when kids were required to get mandatory vaccines to go to school, horse medication was only for horses, and no one questioned why a passport was required for travel, before chuckling to himself and sighing.

“Now, this may have been past your time but I thought you might get a kick out of this,” smiled Kaur, pulling an old textbook off his shelf and blowing a layer of dust off the cover. “This is science. In my days, we used to trust the comprehensive and rigorously schooled minds of doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and scientists. I know, I know – it was a different time! You kids don’t realize that not everyone had a Karla from Woodbridge giving you all the information you need through baseless Facebook articles. We used to actually have to source our opinions in facts!”

At press time, Kaur decided to sew a jean jacket patch onto his mask instead of making a simple public health precaution an assault on his personal rights and freedom.