Tories to support anti-racism motion if ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’
OTTAWA – Certain members of the Conservative caucus said they would be willing to support the motion condemning Islamophobia so long as ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’, or any…
Thing happens that we do not understand even remotely
THE INTERNET, PROBABLY – Swedish YouTube celebrity PewDiePie was disavowed by Disney and YouTube over anti-Semitic viral video content this week, in a story that we can not even begin to pr…
Progressive company introduces unisex boardrooms
MONTREAL – In an effort to promote inclusivity within their company, mutual fund giant QPM Investments has announced a bold new plan to introduce unisex boardrooms. “In 2017, having separate coun…
Editorial: Have you tried the healing powers of crystals? – by your coworker Julie
BY: YOUR COWORKER JULIE Greetings all, I know many of you made New Year’s Resolutions to get healthy – good for you! Such a brave step. I am proud of you! With so much misinformation about fad di…
Guide To: Montreal
“Montreal is the capital of Quebec…probably.”…
Science Minister discovers parliamentary interns solve maze 20% faster after Serum injection
OTTAWA – In a major discovery, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has found that Parliamentary Pages solve her mazes an average of 20% faster, after a course of Serum injections. “On the left, …
Man who isn’t listening confused by what you just said
ST. JOHN’S — Recent reports from your workplace suggest that George Everrett, the man with whom you’ve been talking for three minutes, has not listened to a word you just said and is decidi…
Man’s attempt to cut fresh bread goes horribly, horribly wrong
BRANTFORD, ON – Traumatized victims are attempting to move on with their lives after witnessing a disastrous attempt by local man Ian Pendergast to cut a loaf of fresh bread into equal slic…
Tory MPs laugh at colleague who once performed manual labour without servant help
OTTAWA – Conservative MPs had a great laugh at the expense of Infrastructure Minister Amarjeet Sohi after hearing he once had a job involving manual labour and no help from domestic servant…
Abortion Protest
“Thank god they were there”…
