UNKNOWN — A routine voyage to The Bowl was beset by tragedy this morning, when a straggling Cheerio fell into the unmapped nether region between the plastic bag and cereal box.
The oat morsel was apparently stricken with panic and terror as it plummeted into the abyss for what “felt like an eternity,” before settling somewhere near the bottom of the box.
“At first I was just thankful to be alive,” the Cheerio recalled, “but I soon realized my fate was far worse than death.” Trapped alone in the darkness, isolated from his thousands of friends and family members by a layer of flimsy plastic, it took every gram of fibre in his body to stave off insanity.
However, a glimmer of hope emerged when the piece of cereal made contact with a tribe of wizened elders who have apparently inhabited this strange inter-dimensional world since the Great Cheerios Spill of 2015.
Although the Cheerio said he has come to terms with his current state, he could not help but think of all his friends who made it to The Bowl and were probably having the time of their lives right now.