The Beaverton

Theresa Spence begins eating strike

OTTAWA – Just hours after ending a 6-week-long hunger strike, Theresa Spence, Chief of the Attawapiskat First Nation, announced she is ignoring all medical advice and commencing an eating s…


Machismo exhibited by not using lip balm

TORONTO – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends when he refused to use his girlfriend’s lip balm on his severely chapped lips, sources reported Thursday. Saunders and his girlfriend…


Smokey Bear killed in home fireworks accident

PARK COUNTY, WY – On Friday night well-known forest preservation and fire safety advocate Smokey Bear was killed in a home fireworks accident. At about 9:30 pm, Smokey was with his family s…