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The Beaverton’s NHL preview 2017-2018

The biggest question in the 2017-2018 season is this: Will Canada snap it’s 23 year drought and finally bring Lord Stanley home? The Beaverton takes a look at each Canadian team’s chances:

The Vancouver Canucks

Vancouver is praying for another cup run. A loss in the Stanley cup final and the ensuing destructive riot is the only hope the city has to finally bring rents down. The Vancouver roster is exactly like the housing market – they’re paying millions of dollars to live in the basement.

The Calgary Flames

The Flames are still licking their wounds from being swept out of the playoffs last spring, so they’re ready and raring to go. With their drive to prove themselves, they’re poised for a deep run and might actually win a cup for the city of Seattle in 2018.

The Edmonton Oilers

Last season the Oilers added a key ingredient to the mix: Wayne Gretzky watching every game from a box high atop Rogers Place. Now that Wayne is there to Walter-Gretzky the shit out of McDavid, things are really looking up for the Oilers. With Connor McDavid healthy the Oilers have another deep playoff run to look forward to. Without Connor McDavid healthy the Oilers have another first overall pick to look forward to.

The Winnipeg Jets

It still stings in Winnipeg that the promising roster put together by general manager Kevin Cheveldayoff fell short of expectations and missed out on a playoff spot last season. This upcoming season could play out much better for the Jets. The team can look forward to more depth as it continues to develop its younger players. With a little bit of luck, this could finally be the season that the Jets defeat the Brandon Wheat Kings and win the Ed Chynoweth Cup.

The Toronto Maple Leafs

The young TML line up has shown promise in the preseason, hot off the heels of defying expectations last spring and giving the Washington Capitals a run for their money in the playoffs. With so much to look forward to this season, Leafs fans are excited to find out just how exactly the Leafs will fuck everything up this time and continue Toronto sports’ celebrated history of completely blowing it. From the Leafs to the Raptors to the Jays, the big question on the minds of all Toronto sports fans this year is this: if you had actually died long ago and were in hell, wouldn’t the devil give you just enough hope to go on, so he could continually break your spirit for eternity?

The Montreal Canadiens

As the greatest dynasty in NHL history and the last Canadian team to win it, it would be only fitting for the Habs to be the team to bring the Cup home this year. The club’s management has committed to a bold strategy of trading away promising defence players, in order to sabotage Carey Price, as part of a long term plan to make sure that hockey is never fun or enjoyable for any Habs fan or player ever again. Time will tell if this is an effective strategy to bring Lord Stanley home.

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