Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings …
Toronto Zoo torn down to make room for animal condos
TORONTO – Citing the increasing cost of housing and a higher population density, the Toronto Zoo has announced that they will be tearing down all exhibits to make space for three high-rise …
High school graduate taking year off to throw up in exotic locations
TORONTO – Local 12th grade student Lindsay Fleming is planning on taking a year off between high school and university so she can travel around the world, find herself, and puke up booze in…
Caveman artist enters mammoth period
Chauvet Cave, FRANCE – The Cave art scene was abuzz this week with news that local cave art star Drog has officially dropped horses and entered his Mammoth period. “Drog draw mammoth …
Canada’s new superiority complex shattered by cursory glance at CBC comments section
OTTAWA — In a crushing blow to its upcoming 150th anniversary celebrations, Canada’s emerging sense of comparative superiority to the United States was shattered this week, following a casual loo…
Portraits of Canadiocity: Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz: the least Canadian Canadian?…
Christy Clark and John Horgan agree to joint custody of British Columbia
VANCOUVER – Following weeks of political uncertainty in British Columbia, with no party winning a majority of seats in its most recent provincial election, Liberal leader Christy Clark and …
Wow! Donald Sutherland only allows Kiefer 20 minutes of Nintendo time every day!
And you thought your parents were harsh! It turns out that Hollywood legend Donald Sutherland keeps a close eye on how much Nintendo son Kiefer is allowed to play each day before bed. “Call me ol…
EDITORIAL: If it wasn’t for our discrimination, Pride wouldn’t even exist
As a Police officer, it is disappointing that the Toronto Police will no longer be marching in pride, in large part because we practically invented pride. If it wasn’t for our efforts raidi…
As Parliament breaks for summer, MPs scramble to find dates to end of session semi-formal
OTTAWA – It’s the end of another parliamentary session, and that means the Members of the Canadian House of Commons are ready to eat, drink and cut loose at the traditional end of session s…