Counter-protesters to First Nations tepee on Parliament Hill set up traditional suburb
OTTAWA – Counter-protesters have erected a traditional sprawling suburb on Parliament Hill in response to a group of grassroots indigenous activists who set up a tepee for the Canada 150 ce…
Report: Girlfriend has weirdly shaped measuring cup
PORT PERRY, ON – Early reports indicate that Nick Wincenty’s common-law partner, Tracey Miriana, has small, silicone measuring cup for some unknown purpose. Wincenty made the perplexing dis…
Guide To: Canada 150
Everything you need to know to celebrate the birthday of a perfectly fine country.…
REPORT: Nation still using Dave’s Netflix account
MISSISSAUGA – An investigation by the Netflix Data Engineering and Analytics team has found that each of the approximately 36.5 million Canadians is currently logged in to Dave’s Netflix account.…
Firefighters use Jaws of Life to extract Christy Clark from BC Premiership
VICTORIA – Firefighters were called to the BC Legislature this afternoon to extract Liberal leader Christy Clark, who chained herself to the Premier’s desk and refused to leave until her Li…
Video game protagonist: “I can’t use that item right now”
As the protagonist of a popular video game, I’m no stranger to acquiring an extensive number of seemingly pointless items which I know will eventually go on to serve a critical purpose. And…
Commitment-phobic boyfriend manages to binge watch all 12 seasons of ‘Bones’
EDMONTON – Chad Sandford stunned his on-again, off-again girlfriend of 5 years, Karen McClinton, when he managed to binge watch all 12 seasons of the TV show Bones. McClinton was initially suspic…
QUIZ: Are you on a staycation or being held against your will?
What better way to save money and get to know yourself than to just camp out for a long weekend at your own humble abode. But for many of us it’s hard to find the time to even do that… and for ot…
After consulting tenancy act, local woman decides to ask landlord for her kidneys back
TORONTO – After a fractious relationship with her landlord caused her to consult the Ontario Landlord and Tenant Act, local woman Huma Sayeed has decided to ask him for her kidneys back. “I…
Woman with freezer full of overripe bananas dies never having made banana bread
UXBRIDGE, ON – Maureen Gibson, passed away at the age of 87 this Monday surrounded by loved ones and a freezer full of bananas she had been meaning to make into banana bread. “I’ve lived a …