TORONTO – With the publication of Unreliable Boyfriend, Chrystia Freeland’s account of her years in former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s cabinet, the former Finance Minister has revealed a side to the former prime minister that most Canadians would look at and say, “Yeah. That tracks.” And since no one outside of political journalists looking to make listicles describing what she says will ever read this book, we put together a list of her most shocking revelations for you so you can act like you read it during conversations with friends..
1. Mandatory yoga for cabinet ministers
“He would make us all do yoga at the beginning of every meeting so we could ‘ground ourselves,’ his words,” Freeland writes. I would fake phone calls from the kids’ school just to avoid having to do it. I have enough on my plate without having to look at Dominic Leblanc doing downward dog.”
2. Trudeau had several other costume-themed trips planned
Prior to his disastrous visit to India where he was widely derided for his multiple outfit changes, Trudeau planned a similar approach for other official visits, including an Outlander inspired ensemble for a Scotland tour, a charro suit for Mexico, and dashikis for West Africa.
3. The blackface scandal was bigger than reported
“I don’t know how he managed to keep the photos of him dressed as Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder under wraps for as long as he has, but they’re bound to come out eventually.”
4. Trudeau fired her via Zoom after failing to do it via TikTok
“He tried to get me to do this dance before he gave up. I was supposed to spell out ‘hot to go’ to Chappel Roan. I should have known something was going on.”
5. Justin took those ‘Fuck Trudeau’ flags a bit too literal
“After he split with Sophie, he planned a ‘boys trip’ to rural Alberta, thinking it would be easy to hook up. But the only action he got was when a trucker sucker punched him.”
6. The SNC Lavalin story was just a cover up of something even more boring
“If you thought that scandal was one you should kind of care about but ultimately don’t remember the details of, you won’t even believe how unmemorable and confusing what was really going on… was.”
7. Trudeau thinks New Brunswick isn’t real.
“I swear,” she writes. “He thinks it’s a made up place used by the civil service to inflate their budgets. He says his dad told him.”
