America just going to permanently leave flags at half-mast

AMERICA — In the wake of the latest mass shooting, the United States of America has collectively decided that it makes more sense to leave their flags at half-mast on an ongoing basis. “Low…

New prime minister to be paid 30% less in salary

An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold. June 25th, 1993 OTTAWA – Canada’s first female prime minister, Kim C…

Trump excited to welcome ‘Canada Pence’ to White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise revelation, Donald Trump announced that he is looking forward to meeting a former Canadian Prime Minister, which he repeatedly referred to as “Canada Pence”. “Tre…

AMAZING! This dog saw his owner was having a stroke and called Domino’s

They say dogs are man’s best friend, but if you ask me pizza comes in at a close second! Fortunately for Lethbridge, AB’s Brian Chambers, who experienced a life-threatening stroke, he got the bes…

Local man reconnects with cottage owning friend every year about this time

TORONTO – Local resident Michael Soplinka, 28, has once again used the month of June to get in touch with his ‘lifelong’ friend Eric Gaston, whose family happens to own a cottage on Georgia…

QUIZ: Are you procrastinating or is it time to rearrange your bedroom?

We’ve all been there. A looming deadline, and you can’t seem to stop procrastinating. Or are you? Meditation sciences have proven that distracting the brain may actually help with creative streng…

REPORT: 93% of couples consider partner watching TV series ahead of them to be worse than cheating

OTTAWA – According to an extensive survey conducted over the past year, the average person considers the act of watching new episodes of a television series without their partner, colloquia…

Mystery novelist pretty sure readers won’t suspect character who is heir to vast fortune

KAMLOOPS — Novelist April Washington just published her latest murder mystery, and she’s pretty sure readers won’t suspect the character who is heir to several mansions, a collection of priceless…

Older couple reads obituaries to see which Canadian community newspapers have passed away

NORWICH, ON – As part of their mid-morning ritual, retirees Gladys and Albert Heatherington turn to their newspaper obituary section to see if any small town newspapers have passed on. “Oh,…

New charity focuses on lowering teens’ self-esteem to keep them out of trouble

HAMILTON, ON – After a series of reported instances of graffiti and ding-dong-ditches, a group of alarmed parents joined together to form Locals Against Confident Kids (L.A.C.K.) in order to stop…