Clean up continues after annual Ford Fest orgy
Vaughan, ON – Combing through the piles of empty drink cups and bottles of lube, efforts are still underway to clean up after this year’s annual Ford Fest fuck spree, with many attendees no…
Irving Corporation to announce the real winners of New Brunswick election before polls close
FREDERICTON – The CEOs of Irving Group of Companies will declare the official winners of the New Brunswick election later tonight well before polls close for the non-official election. Citi…
Sweater mostly cat hair at this point
MONTAGUE, PEI – Sporting her favourite sweater for a weekend gathering, friends of local woman Theresa McCallum, 34, revealed today that the black turtleneck she was wearing was undeniably …
Outdated sex-ed curriculum already has Ontario students pulling out
QUEEN’S PARK – This week the effects of Ontario’s outdated sex-ed curriculum were put on display when many students across the province began to pull out of class. “Everyone knows tha…
Ex-White House aide wishes he hadn’t recorded over all his Trump tapes
WASHINGTON – Recently fired White House aide Marvin Gao is beating himself up for recording over all the secret tapes he made of President Donald J. Trump. “It wasn’t just [former assistant to th…
Rideau Hall asks bored Governor General if she could scale back her backyard rocket-building program
OTTAWA – Officials at the Governor General’s residency has asked Canada’s vice regal to scale back her ambitious space race side-project and return to the more traditional ceremonial duties…
BREAKING: Baby not done pooping
EDMONTON – Local couple, Doug and Sandra Tisdale, uncovered a horrifying development during a recent diaper change of their daughter Lana when they learned that Lana was shockingly still in the m…
5 books to hold on your commute while you think about quitting your job
Commuting can be a peaceful transitory period for busy professionals. It’s a chance to listen to your favourite podcast, swallow sadly, and hold a book in your hands while reading the same page o…
BREAKING: Leo and Pisces on date
THUNDER BAY, ON – Locals are in an uproar with sightings of known Pisces Savana Jennings and Patrick Alaster – a Leo – going on a date. “When we found out that Savana had asked …
Travel Tips from someone who went to Europe seven years ago
As Hans Christian Andersen famously wrote, “To travel is to live”. There is no better experience in life than discovering new parts of the world. But the discovery may be challenging if you are u…
