India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit

DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…

30-year old woman drinking water at bar wants you to know she’s not pregnant

CALGARY -—During a friend’s birthday party at O’Malley’s bar, 30-year-old, recently married marketing consultant Annie Pierre has reportedly assured upwards of 12 attendees that, despite her refu…

Baby never happier than when vomiting

CALGARY —- Researchers have confirmed that 9-month old Grace McMillan, despite enjoying other activities such as interacting with loved ones and playing with toys, reaches greatest levels of happ…

Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver

KAMLOOPS, BC – Upon catching sight of his sleepless, bloodshot eyes in the mirror, new father Daniel Lutsky took a wistful, early-dawn moment to remember his days of being disheveled and sl…

François Legault assures Muslim, Sikh, Jewish civil servants that they are free to wear crucifixes to work

QUEBEC CITY — Premier-designate François Legault has assured Quebec citizens that, since the crucifix is a historical symbol and not a religious one, civil servants of other faiths should f…

Desperate zoo hopes use of Jurassic Park font will spice things up

KINDERSLEY, SK – After years of failing to connect with the zoo-going public, the struggling Kindersley Zoo has made a last ditch attempt to combat lagging attendance and poor online review…

Archaeologists uncover ancient trove of friends made along the way

SAMAWAH, IRAQ – Hailed as perhaps the most precious treasure after all, archaeologists in southern Iraq have discovered an ancient cache of friends made along the way – a find as valu…

Woman’s sole purpose is to impress her teen neighbour with outfit

HAMILTON, ON — Local woman Sidney Danskin finally admitted the truth to herself, that her sole purpose in life is to impress her teen neighbour Maddison Nicks with her clothing choices. “I’…

Supreme Court reaffirms indigenous right to decades-long legal battles

OTTAWA – The Supreme Court of Canada gave its ruling confirming an indigenous communities right to incredibly long, drawn out legal battles with the federal government before their rights a…

Journalists interviewing Stephen Harper on his new book ball gagged as a precaution

TORONTO – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper has launched his book tour by preemptively gagging any journalist interviewing him to avoid any unexpected questions. CTV’s Question Period ho…