NBA streams subreddit becomes Canada’s #1 TV provider

TORONTO – Following the Raptors’ incredible postseason run, Canadian TV ratings agencies and sources inside web content aggregator Reddit confirmed today that the subreddit r/nbastreams has…

Scheer marches in Pride after mistaking parade for Yellow Vest demonstration

SASKATOON – Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer found himself unintentionally marching in a local pride parade after mistaking the celebration for a Yellow Vest demonstration. Last week…

Man who waited in line for three days to get into Jurassic Park horrified to discover he can just watch game at home

TORONTO – Local man Jerome Dobbins, who has been waiting in line to get into Toronto’s famed Raptors viewing party square since Saturday at 9am, was shocked and quite frankly furious to dis…

Scientists hate him! No particular reason he’s just awful

BRAMPTON – After months of grueling and complicated experiments and tests, scientists have come to the conclusion that Kyle Smith-Reynolds is a completely awful human being and they hate hi…

Dark Phoenix Review: You’d think after 13 X-Men films, at least ONE would be about professional candle making, but NO

With the release of its final X-franchise offering, Fox has hammered the final nail into the coffin of a franchise that has refused to accurately depict the time-honoured art of candle making, de…

Tesla reveals plans for self-actualizing car

MENLO PARK – This week, technology giant Tesla Motors announced plans to design and build a new generation of self-actualized cars. “I envision a world where we own cars that not only drive…

Nation’s dads demand investigation into where the hell this moron learned how to drive

OTTAWA – The nation’s dads assembled on Parliament Hill today demanding that Transport Canada investigate where in the hell this moron learned how to drive and who exactly was the idi…

Productivity Hack: find one thing you want to do each day and then really hate yourself if you don’t do it

For many of us, it can be hard to get motivated, especially if we have a lot of demands on our time. That’s why productivity experts are suggesting an innovative new approach to getting things do…

Banks concerned looming recession may hinder Millennial ability to build up crippling debt

OTTAWA — This week, financial analysts reported that the North American economy is showing major signs of a looming recession, which could negatively impact the abilities of youths to owe b…

Unimaginative Alice in Wonderland School play contains total lack of psychedelic drugs

Whitby, ON – A production of Alice in Wonderland staged at P.L. Thomas Elementary School has reportedly disappointed many audience members due to the directors and cast’s unfortunate failure to e…