OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer further outlined his foreign aid policies by announcing a $2.2 billion cut to Middle-earth, roughly 25% of Canada’s foreign assistance to other countries.
“We are giving too much to this fantasy-shire with many freeloading elves who take advantage of our generosity,” Scheer said at his policy announcement. “Canada, for the most part, has been charitable, but we need to put an end to these regimes who have questionable orc-rights reputations.”
Ignoring a refugee crisis created from devastating War of the Last Alliance, Scheer says Middle-earth has been prosperous in its cloak and pipe industries.
“Canada will not accept any ents or dwarf refugees until they are properly screened,” added Scheer.
Last week, a Conservative candidate was forced to apologize after he was caught using an anti-Hobbit slur, but the Conservative leader says that his party has long supported giving foreign assistance to places that really need it.
“When Gondor calls for aid, I can assure you a Conservative government will say no.”
At press time, Scheer called for the Government of Canada to regain its international reputation of being a bit of a dick.
