Toronto woman who endured Harper decade “just doesn’t understand” what it’s like for feds to ignore her interests

TORONTO – Amancia Gordon, 43, has been repeatedly told by those living in the West that she can never understand the plight of having a federal government who doesn’t champion the values sh…

Local woman joins cult to get out of choosing a new outfit every day

THUNDER BAY, ON – Last week, Marie Wilson announced that she was leaving modern society behind forever in order to join a Satanic cult, a decision based entirely on her being fed up with ha…

Liberals promise to govern like Conservatives since they won more votes

OTTAWA – The Liberal government has vowed that, in the interests of fairness, they will be governing like the party who won the greatest proportion of the popular vote in the recent electio…

Kenney cuts support for handicapped to fund task force into why people think he’s an asshole

EDMONTON – In his first budget, Premier Jason Kenney has cut the basic income support for handicapped people and redirected the millions saved to fund a public inquiry into why people think…

Misogynistic vandal promptly given job at Rebel Media

OTTAWA – The individual responsible for vandalizing Catherine McKenna’s office with a hate-filled message towards all women in politics has been offered employment by Rebel Media as a repor…

Wexit movement inspired by how smoothly Brexit is going

EDMONTON – After the federal election results left many in western Canada feeling disappointed and alienated, a separatist movement has emerged online under the banner of “Wexit”, inspired …

TFC players canvassing to raise awareness of championship run

TORONTO – As part of TFC Awareness Month, the players of the Toronto Football Club have begun door knocking across the Greater Toronto Area. “Hi there! My name is Jozy Altidore. Have you he…

Alberta economy makes transition to renewable sources of anger

CALGARY – With Prime Minister Justin Trudeau winning the most seats in his second election, Premier Jason Kenney’s UPC government as well as many oil and gas companies have started to make …

Now that the campaign is over, I’d like to talk to you about your life insurance options

EDITORIAL BY ANDREW SCHEER, LEADER OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY OF CANADA First, I’d like to thank all Canadians for participating in a hard-fought election, and I’d like to thank you for coming int…

Doug Ford knocks on cellar door to see if it’s okay to come out

KENORA, ON – Rapping on a rickety plywood door from his subterranean hiding, Ontario Premier Doug Ford sheepishly asked his Conservative Party handlers if it was okay to come out now that t…