Desperate nation pining for US celebrity’s attention denies it's boring - The Beaverton

Desperate nation pining for US celebrity’s attention denies it’s boring

CANADA – Citizens from a nation always seeking US approval are expressing outrage that a washed-up pop singer from the 1980s called the country “boring.”

“How dare she call us dull,” said Mary Hill who once celebrated how CNN reported a brief news story about Toronto. “If she had been to a Scotties Tournament of Hearts or the Brier, she would have thought differently.”

Thousands of more Canadians with nothing better to do with their time took to social media to defend the land consisting mostly of rocks, trees, and snow.

“I now hate ,” said Tom MacDonald who gushed over the move of a B list actor and her B list royal husband to Canada.

At press time the City of Ottawa was suing Madonna for a trademark violation over use of the word ‘boring.’