The Beaverton

Paul Ryan to climb own widow’s peak

JANESVILLE, WI – Paul Ryan, the notoriously athletic and daring former vice-presidential candidate, has chosen to relax from the grueling campaign trail by taking on the monumental task of …


Voices in man’s head outsourced to India

ABBOTSFORD, BC – Local mental health patient Andrew Wallace, 35, has tolerated hearing voices in his head for years, but says he is now unable to deal with the voices after their upper mana…


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