Resident Evil Village Review: A relaxing escape from reality
RACCOON CITY – The eighth instalment of the Resident Evil franchise continues right where the series left off, inserting the player in a zombie-infested post-apocalyptic wasteland that quic…
Doug Ford reveals Stage 3 has no plan to re-open schools, but will lower drinking age to 8
QUEEN’S PARK — As the Ford Government’s pandemic plan faces criticism for ignoring schools to prioritizing re-opening bars, the premier assured Ontarians that he will solve the dilemma by l…
Fate of global superpower once again rests on immune system of old lady
BALTIMORE – All eyes are on John Hopkins Hospital as the future of one of the most powerful political entities in the history of the human race comes down to the ability of the white blood …
Airline will no longer refund ticket holders whose lovers run to the airport last minute, with a change of heart, asking them not to get on flight
PEARSON AIRPORT – Air Canada has announced they will no longer honour refunds from ticket holders whose lovers propose to them at the airport last minute and then plead for them to not get on the…
Man wearing face shield upside down like a pope hat seems to think it’s doing something
Kingston, ON – A Queen’s Masters student who’s been spotted on multiple occasions maskless and wearing a face shield upside down like a cute little pope hat seems to think the incorrectly w…
Scientist invents time travel to mock people in 2016 who thought things were bad then
WATERLOO, ON – Quantum physicist Agnes Chevrier announced in a press conference today that not only has she invented time travel, but she had already achieved her purpose in inventing it, w…
Canada politely declines U.S. politicians’ request to kill thousands of our residents
OTTAWA – Despite wanting to maintain warm relations with the United States, Canadian officials today rejected the letter from Members of Congress asking that we reopen the border and kill t…
Washington Redskins to change name to Cleveland Indians
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following intense pressure from multiple groups and the public at large, the Washington Redskins have proudly announced that they will be officially changing their team name to …
Officer working at ninth police department in ten years probably just filled with wanderlust
Lawrence, KS — Though there are many possible reasons that Constable Dennis Bass has worked at nine different police departments over the last ten years, law enforcement experts agree that the mo…
Home gyms struggle to retain members after early-pandemic trial period ends
VANCOUVER – At-home gyms across the country are reporting a steep drop in membership after an initial spike during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic. “When the pandemic began rampin…
