Economists hate her! This woman makes $500 a week with one simple tool!
$$$ Social assistance EXPOSED! $$$ Recently laid-off woman reveals shocking secret trick your employer doesn’t want you to know! Top-secret government hack UNCOVERED: $8000 in cash for struggling…
Trump ensures America’s stimulus checks will bounce by writing his name on them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a rare display of business acumen, Donald Trump is saving the United States approximately $290 billion by having his name appear on the new round of stimulus checks to …
Health Canada asks Canadians to at least brush their teeth, for God’s sake
OTTAWA – Amid the current worldwide shutdown leading to the majority of Canadian citizens practicing self-isolation in their homes, Health Canada has urged people to at the very least consider br…
Quarantined couple attempt to spice up relationship by putting pants on
TORONTO – Monica Gonzales and Tom Meyer, a couple living in downtown Toronto, had been self-isolating together for over a month when they felt their relationship growing stale. The couple, …
Local woman lowers ‘Live Laugh Love’ poster to half-mast
RIVERVIEW, NB – As COVID-19 projections predict mandated self isolation to remain in effect for several more months, local resident Helen De Angelo has lowered her Live Laugh Love poster t…
Local prisoner practices social distancing by escaping
Bath, ON – In an effort to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 virus, prison inmate Geoff Rogers has taken necessary measures to distance himself from others by escaping from the Millhaven I…
Nation’s high school dance chaperones bravely volunteer to enforce social distancing
OTTAWA – Responding to an urgent need, high school dance chaperones from across the country have bravely volunteered to ensure that Canadians everywhere remain at least two metres apart fro…
Obama wholeheartedly endorses only option
WASHINGTON, DC – Former President Barack Obama has announced his enthusiastic support for Joe Biden by endorsing him over all other current Democratic candidates. “I cannot think of a bette…
To soothe nation, Trudeau delivers daily address in ASMR
OTTAWA – Realizing the traumatic nature of the current pandemic, Justin Trudeau has sought to further reassure Canadians by delivering his daily address in a whispering tone designed to eli…
Local hipster keeps telling everyone he was on EI before it was cool
EAST VANCOUVER – In the midst of a global pandemic, the government is scrambling to assist those who are struggling financially. While Canadians are trying to cope with losing their jobs, h…
