Warner Bros. adds additional boob shots to new Tom and Jerry movie to adhere to HBOMax guidelines
HOLLYWOOD – After the announcement that Warner Bros. is set to stream their 2021 lineup on HBOMax, news surfaced that the remake of cat-and-mouse classic Tom and Jerry, must adhere to the c…
Brian Pallister eagerly awaits Amazon order for pandemic response plan
WINNIPEG — Amid peak covid cases, declining approval ratings and holiday cancellations, Premier Brian Pallister has ordered a pandemic response plan using Amazon Prime. Sources close to the premi…
Office Christmas Party cancellation leaves local man with nowhere to make drunken fool of himself
CALGARY – With his firm forgoing plans for the usual Christmas party this year due to the current pandemic, paralegal Will Sanchez is worried that he will have nowhere to disgrace himself i…
Amazon responds to The Queen’s Gambit by ordering limited series about Jenga prodigy
CULVER CITY – In the wake of the worldwide success of the Netflix limited series The Queen’s Gambit, about the rise of fictional chess genius Beth Harmon, Amazon Studios has placed an order…
Santa Claus states fake Pandemic won’t stop him from entering anyone’s home
North Pole – Santa Claus has responded to questions about the pandemic affecting Christmas by saying he is not afraid of some “fake disease.” “I won’t let some left-wing conspiracy to destr…
Woman dead for three days told she’s “probably just stressed” by doctor
BARRIE, ON – Olivia Short, a local woman diagnosed as “probably just stressed” by her doctor, has turned out to have already been dead for three days. Olivia “Liv” Short, 29, had already been dec…
Jason Kenney’s pride now leading cause of death in Alberta
EDMONTON – A new study from the Office of Statistics and Information indicates Premier Jason Kenney’s excessive pride is the new leading cause of death in Alberta. “Hubris is a pre-existin…
Edmonton coyotes excited to finally be included in games of fetch
EDMONTON – Coyotes are excited by a new initiative from the Edmonton Urban Coyote project that involves throwing tennis balls and sticks. The goal of the initiative is to scare coyotes in o…
Man tricked into coma announces new self-help book
NEW YORK – Publishing giant Penguin Random House has announced a new self-help book by a man who, in defiance of every credible medical professional, adopted a dangerous all-beef diet and fell in…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal activity carried out during his presidency will result in jail time for his fav…
