5 new party drugs that are just you taking your antidepressants regularly
Worried about being out of the loop when this is all over and you can finally go back to clubbing? Fear not: we’ve assembled this handy list of the latest party drugs to emerge during the COVID-1…
COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines
NATIONWIDE – With the current rollout beginning for the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, many people across the country are excited about the chance to have bitter arguments about the safety and ef…
5 manly masculine grooming kits for your disgusting boyfriend
‘Tis the season! It’s that faithful time of year where folks all over the country step up to the plate and give their significant others something utterly useless and mismatched to their personal…
Sony pulls broken, glitching Cyberpunk 2077 game, rebrands it as Cyberpunk 2020
SAN MATEO, CA – Following reports that its newly-released Cyberpunk 2077 game has been riddled with release problems and frustrating glitches, Sony has pulled the game from its online store…
Kenney defends maskless meeting claiming it wasn’t a workplace since he hasn’t done any work
EDMONTON – After an image appeared of the Alberta premier not wearing a mask at an indoor meeting, Jason Kenney is defending himself saying it wasn’t a workplace since he has not done any w…
Health Canada announces that dudes who wear shorts all winter will get vaccine last
OTTAWA – Health Canada announced this morning that they have come up with their official vaccine pecking order and, as expected, those dudes who insist on wearing shorts all winter will get…
“This ain’t my first rodeo,” brags man who has never even met a cow
TORONTO – After listening to a coworker explain a simple solution to a tax problem yesterday, accountant Jim Barnes was overheard confidently shooting down the advice and declaring “Listen, this …
As pandemic deaths skyrocket in Whoville, The Grinch is dubbed self-isolation hero
WHOVILLE – Last Tuesday, many who have spoken out on quarantining during the COVID-19 pandemic have taken to Twitter to praise The Grinch for his preparedness amid the news that Whovillians…
Nation’s uncles scramble to pre-record racist rant in time for Christmas dinner
NATIONWIDE – As COVID restrictions tighten and the uncertainty of family gatherings looms, uncles across Canada are scrambling to pre-record their racist rants for extended families to enjo…
Local Buddhist parents frustrated as child desires nothing for Christmas
NORTH DELTA – Local parents Leonard Durry and Evan Takada, practising Buddhists and parents of Avyda Durry-Takada, age 8, have been stymied by their daughter’s total lack of interest in rec…
