OTTAWA – The nation mourned the passing of legendary broadcaster and Conservative provocateur Rush Limbaugh today, but took some comfort in the fact that he saw the human embodiment of his malignant influence on the culture, Donald Trump, lose the Presidential election.
“It’s terrible to say goodbye to someone who shaped modern day Conservatism like Rush did,” said Sharon Lee. “But I think I’ll be able to sleep knowing that he saw everything he spent decades building up come crashing down just as his own hate filled body was giving out on him.”
“Also that he went slowly, and suffered a great deal,” she added.
Lee’s comments echoed many others who say that knowing Rush spent his last months watching Trump be resoundingly defeated by millions of voters helped ease their acceptance of his passing into the great beyond.
“It’s not just that he saw Trump lose,” said Desmond Rabbior. “It’s that he got to watch him try to claim victory, lose about a thousand court cases, poutingly refuse to attend Biden’s inauguration and then get impeached again.”
“He even got to see that press conference at 4 seasons landscaping! Man I hope he was alert enough to understand how this was the natural consequence of all his years spewing vile and stupidity into a mic.”
Limbaugh was an ardent supporter of President Trump, whose victory was in large part attributable to the votes of people who grew up listening to Limbaugh call a university student a whore for wanting birth control, celebrate the deaths of AIDS victims and repeatedly play a racist song called Barack The Magical Negro. Limbaugh was also a physical supporter of the cancer cells that grew inside his lungs like a literal black mass surrounding the metaphorical black mass that was his heart until his body gave out and he died a monstrous, shrivelled old man.
President Trump released a statement mourning Limbaugh and vowing that, when he dies, the jokes on twitter will be even funnier.