Local man’s Donald Trump-Apocalypse Now analogy falls apart instantly
CHATHAM – Over a zoom cocktail hour with friends, local dentist Doug Nairn tried to make a complicated analogy comparing the end of the Trump Administration to the plot of the Francis Ford …
Veterans fought for my freedom to kill them with COVID-19
By Byron Grimshaw Whenever I reflect on November 11th, I think of all of the veterans who were fighting for freedom and democracy. Many have grown old, but they will be happy to know that I am ex…
America’s neo-nazis ask for patience and space to grieve downfall of racist dictator
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the results of the 2020 election settle in, America’s neo-nazi community is asking for time and space to grieve the downfall of their beloved racist dictator, Donald Tr…
Canadians remember the sacrifices Don Cherry made to hijack Remembrance Day for his personal brand
KINGSTON, ON – Canadians took a moment of silence today to recognize the important sacrifices former Hockey Night in Canada commentator Don Cherry made to turn a sacred event into a spectac…
Trudeau excited to discover what old-timey nickname Biden will give him
OTTAWA – After calling President-elect Biden to congratulate him on winning the election, Prime Minister Trudeau is said to be looking forward to Biden bestowing upon him a fun nickname tha…
Premier Kenney responds to spike in cases by expanding Alberta’s y-axis
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is taking bold steps at tackling the rapid spread of cases of COVID-19 in the province by expanding the y-axis on all statistical graphs. “The Health…
Donald Trump announces creation of seven new states, all of whom voted for him
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has officially signed an executive order establishing seven new American states which have all coincidentally pledged their electoral votes to him. “I’m ver…
Following Trump defeat, comedy and art all bad now
WASHINGTON D.C. — While Donald Trump brought blatant corruption, incompetence, and cruelty to the American presidency, his electoral defeat comes with the equally dire consequence that all comedy…
Hundreds of Leafs fans demand the NHL “stops the steal” of the Stanley Cup
NEW YORK – A loud and boisterous crowd of fans are demanding the NHL stop the conspiracy to steal the Stanley Cup from the Toronto Maple Leafs. Approximately 200 fans protested outside the …
Giuliani clarifies he didn’t mean to hold press conference at Landscaping company, definitely meant to hold it at dildo shop next door
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Following his widely-mocked Saturday morning press conference in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Trump personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani clarified that he obviously …
