Ukrainian President achieves incredible feat of making being a comedian look cool
KYIV — After bravely turning down an evacuation offer from the U.S. in order to fight for his country’s freedom and quickly gaining a reputation as a defiant, inspiring leader, former comic…
Vaccine Hunters Canada pivots to searching for PS5s
NATIONWIDE – Canadian heroes Vaccine Hunters Canada have changed their twitter mission, this time in search of PlayStation 5s. “Vaccine Hunters Canada was born out of an urgent need to provide Ca…
Putin treats himself to a few war crimes he’s had his eye on
MOSCOW – Following yet another exhausting year of ruling with brutal autocracy, Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly decided to reward himself with a few war crimes – namel…
Trudeau lifts Emergencies Act, says situation on Monday has completely changed because now it’s Wednesday
OTTAWA – After spending Monday arguing that the Emergencies Act needed to be continued because the convoy-related emergency was still ongoing, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has now revoked …
Terrible cafe no longer able to blame lockdown for failing business
Etobicoke, ON – As capacity limits and other public health limits are lifted throughout Ontario, the owners of Geralds Koffee Korner are no longer able to blame lockdowns for their complete…
How being better than me is bullying
By: Bryler Chadwick I used to have to leave my house to feel bad about myself. But now that all you bullies can attack me with posts of your promotions, life events, and sun-drenched getaways wit…
Scientists finally decipher language Eddie Vedder sings in
SEATTLE, WA — University of Washington scientists have deciphered the language Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder has been singing in for the past 32 years. Named “Project Throat Noise”,…
Canada ties for gold at winning bronze
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Trudeau promises that Canada will only be under the Emergencies Act for as long as trucks exist
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is uncertain when and if the Emergencies Act will ever be lifted as long as Canada, and Ottawa in particular, remains under threat due to the continue…
Local media outlet running out of privileged people who’ve made the most of COVID to interview
YOUR TOWN ― After featuring dozens of stories about those who moved to their cottage, started a lucrative TikTok channel, or otherwise benefited from a deadly disease, your local newspaper is dea…
