Study: 95% of airport delays caused by someone stopping their true love from boarding plane to take job in San Francisco
A new study has found that 95% of airport delays are caused by someone seeking to stop the love of their lives from getting on a plane to take that job in San Francisco. Further delays are also c…
Toronto Argonauts unveil new mascot “Empty Seat”
TORONTO – As part of a multi-million dollar rebrand of North America’s oldest professional football franchise, the Toronto Argonauts have replaced its previous mascot, “Jason the Masc…
Hilarious! Bashar al-Assad crushes lip sync battle with Jimmy Fallon
NEW YORK – Move over, Beyonce! Because a certain Syrian dictator might just be the new Queen of pop! The internet is abuzz following a hilarious Tonight Show appearance by Bashar al-Assad l…
Statistics Canada study finds 125% of Canadians approve of Trudeau
OTTAWA – Statistics Canada released a study today finding that nearly 44 million Canadians approve of Justin Trudeau and his Liberal government, roughly 25% more than the actual population …
Mad scientist having trouble defending giant laser to grant application board
TORONTO – Despite its obvious practical uses, Dr. Vincent D. Ranged is experiencing some pushback from the grant board on his application for a giant laser. “Yes of course it’s essential fo…
$700,000 spent to honour famed gazebo-lover, Mordecai Richler
MONTREAL — Work has finally been completed on the gazebo located in Mount Royal park to honour late gazebo-lover Mordecai Richler. Richler ism of course, best known for cultivating the respect th…
Chateau Laurier expansion first national treasure to be revamped using Minecraft
OTTAWA – The historic Chateau Laurier Hotel is getting a much needed facelift with the help of Minecraft, a leader in architecture and design. The proposed revamp would see the 660,000 squa…
Meet the adorable cat responsible for the extinction of 3 bird species
Aurora, ON – In a quiet suburb outside of Toronto lives an adorable, gregarious, grey and white cat who greets everyone he meets with a nuzzle and a purr, and has managed to wipe out three …
Missing aunt found in vat of wine
NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON — After an exhaustive two-week search, local bank manager and self-professed “world’s funnest aunt” Wendy Toolend was found in a 20,000 gallon vat of wine alive and …
SCOTUS rules hunting humans a protected form of free expression
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court of the United States has found a law limiting the right of citizens to hunt people unconstitutional. “Unrestricted campaign spen…
