Computer illiterate Ontario government asks grade ten students to fix online literacy test

TORONTO – Ontario government officials are appealing to grade 10 students to help them fix the problems with online Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test since it crashed earlier today. Pa…

Jays end post-season with pop, pizza party in Rogers Centre basement

TORONTO – After a disappointing loss against the Cleveland Indians, this afternoon the Toronto Blue Jays capped off their post-season with a modest pizza party in the basement of the Rogers…

Yukon votes 2016: Party platforms

Yukoners will head to the polls on November 7th to elect 19 members of the Legislative Assembly. Here’s what the four political parties have to offer: The Yukon Party Indigenous Relations: Promis…

Dad fondly remembers faxing dick pic to Mom

BARRIE, ON – During a recent celebration for their 20th wedding anniversary, Barb and Fred Lynch finally shared the touching story of how a faxed dickpic cemented their relationship with th…

Satan confused after some enjoy his cruel act of raisins in cookies

HELL – The devil has expressed frustration and confusion at the fact that some of humanity has appeared to like raisins in cookies, what he considers to be one of his most depraved acts of …

Trudeau celebrates one year in office with #TBT Instagram collage

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau enthusiastically marked one year in office with a tasteful and sentimental Instagram collage. “What better way to celebrate the Liberal party’s landsl…

Local man repeatedly tries to order pizza on crashing website rather than call human being

FREDERICTON – Local electrical apprentice Mike Brenton is reportedly on his fifth attempt to order pizza on a crashing website, in a desperate attempt to avoid a two-minute phone conversati…

Trudeau: Only 39.5% of people voted for electoral reform

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government is backing away from a promise on electoral reform by claiming they didn’t get enough votes in the past federal election to refor…

Local mom smells bar of lavender soap for 36 hours straight

HALIFAX — Local mother of three Sandy Berman had local authorities baffled last week when she stopped to smell a bar of lavender soap at a farmers’ market for over 36 consecutive hours. Wit…

Is Canada too needy for Justin Trudeau?

  Is Canada too needy to hang on to our hot PM? Meet The Beaverton’s new Anchors, Emma Hunter and Miguel Rivas, as they debate. The Beaverton TV show premieres November 9th at 10:30 pm on Co…