TORONTO – The Toronto Public Library took a stand yesterday by allowing a planned meeting of prominent neo-Nazis to go forward after the group promised to keep their heiling to a low whisper. “O...
Quiz: Well, do you?
You’ve really done it this time, and I mean REALLY done it. Sources Angry boss with employee Shocked woman looking at laptop Angry man on the phone Stressed man sitting at desk Woman sitting at desk...
President elected due to email scandal being brought down by email scandal
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts thei...
Millennial with six jobs killing it, dying
TORONTO – Local woman Jess Nguyen, 26, is currently making a considerable amount of money working six part-time jobs, while also slowly dying of fatigue and several untreated illnesses. “It’s gr...
Interest rate hike leaves millions of millennials exactly the same
OTTAWA – People under the age of 35 are reeling after a 0.25% hike to the Bank of Canada’s key interest rate left their lives in no way different from before the rate hike. “This rate hike has l...
Farmer’s market thrown into chaos after every vendor runs for NDP leader
The NDP leadership race is heating up....
Get excited Millennials: Russian State Television is bringing back “Happy Time with Oksana and Michail”
All you 90’s kids better get hella excited, because you’re about to get hit with a major nostalgia bomb. This week, the All-Russia State Television Company announced that they’re bringing back the hit...
VIA Rail installs new sadomasochist seats for economy class
MONTREAL – Announcing a new experience for passenger pain and discomfort, VIA Rail has unveiled its new line of sadomasochist seats that will be installed in all economy class cars by 2019. Acco...
Study: 94% of new homeowners not sure what a mortgage actually is
TORONTO – In a surprise set of findings from a Canadian Homeowner’s Association survey, almost all of the nation’s population that owns their own home is completely unaware what a mortgage is, despite...
New Netflix program just a live feed of your friends having fun without you
LOS GATOS, CA – Netflix has recently announced its newest slate of programming, including the hotly anticipated binge-worthy show A Live Feed of Your Friends Having Fun Without You, which will n...
