OTTAWA, ON – Canadians coast to coast had their collective gnar severely harshed today, upon learning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau suffered third degree burns after a failed attempt to jum...
Evidence piling up gender neutral bathroom actually broom closet
TORONTO — Patrons of Toronto’s Tito’s Tacqueria say it’s becoming increasingly clear that the establishment’s gender neutral bathroom is actually a repurposed broom closet. “There is, like, a re...
Content creator really loves creating content
TORONTO – Social media ingénue, Grace Codrington, says she creates content not for fame or money, but simply because she loves doing so. “I live and breathe content creation,” Codrington said, “...
Shark pressed up against aquarium glass fascinated by wonders of human life
TORONTO—Reports show that Freddie, a 2-year old tiger shark at Ripley’s Aquarium, has pressed himself up against the glass to get a closer look at the incredible spectacle of human life playing out on...
The Rebelton: Muslim Attacks
Ernie Levenson really hoping for a terrorist attack to boost web traffic....
Woman only had to go to space twice for man not to question her qualifications
OTTAWA – The soon-to-be Governor General only had to visit space twice to persuade local man Walter Alfons that she was selected for the honour based on merit. Alfons, who has questioned nearly ...
Guide To Ottawa
Thinking of visiting the city that keeps claiming it’s the capital of Canada?...
Julie Payette happy to start her seventh most exciting career
OTTAWA – Former Canadian astronaut Julie Payette has been selected to become the country’s next Governor General, making this her seventh most exciting career. The woman who has been on two NASA...
Bored shark eats terrible surfer just because he’s there
Tofino, BC – Continuing a weekend-long binge, a local shark bored-ate a terrible surfer Monday morning. “I wasn’t hungry, to be honest,” the shark said as he bit open a bottle of pepto bismol. “...
Quiz: Which Game of Thrones sex game are my parents playing in their bedroom right now?
It’s the middle of the night, and, recently, my parents have been trying to find some ways of spicing up their marriage. They’re both pretty obsessed with Game of Thrones, so, I guess they figur...
