Climactic showdown ruins another night shift at local steel mill
Sudbury, ON – Yet another work shift at a local steel mill was ruined this evening, as local protagonist Dr. Rick Powers had his final face off against sworn rival and disgraced former Lieu…
NSA unveils new line of ‘TOTALLY NORMAL’ appliances
Fort Meade, MD. – Following Trump senior counselor Kellyanne Conway’s speculation that Trump was wiretapped with a microwave, the US National Security Agency unveiled a new line of home app…
Citing political gender barriers, practical girl dreams of becoming MP’s assistant
VANCOUVER – After much debate and an extensive investigation, honour roll student Nina Periwal, 16, has committed to setting her sights on becoming an MP’s assistant. Periwal had long aspir…
FIFA reminds Trump to leave corruption, racism to the professionals
LONDON – In light of Donald Trump’s travel ban, FIFA president Gianni Infantino has said that the US could be prevented from hosting a future World Cup should the president continue to encr…
Origin of fake news traced back to Johannes Gutenberg
Fake news, also known as lying, has been around for hundreds of years.…
Millions of healthy gut bacteria vote to unionize
NAPANEE, ON – Millions of microbes assembled in the descending colon of Curtis Lawrence to vote to officially unionize their collective as Gastrointestinal Tract Workers Local 298. “We reco…
Carleton University gym replaces weight scales with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs scale
OTTAWA – Carleton Athletics has removed all scales measuring weight in its gym and replaced them with Abraham Maslow’s theoretical Hierarchy of Needs. “Gym-goers need to measure the things …
Ezra Levant confident riled up, far-right mob won’t turn against Jews this time
CALGARY – Saying that as far as he knew it had never happened before, Ezra Levant, the owner and presenter of the far-right Rebel Media, says he’s pretty sure his anti-immigrant, alt-right …
Deepak Obhrai Conservative Party Ad
Deepak stands for experience, responsible spending, and leveraging this whole thing into a cushy job.…
Newfoundland blown off course, last spotted drifting near Canary Islands
ATLANTIC OCEAN – The province of Newfoundland was blown well off course by one of the most intense wind storms the island has ever seen. It was last spotted on the other side of the Atlanti…
