Bryan Baeumler shows the Beaverton how to find reasonably priced homes for sale in Toronto
Finally some good news for Toronto homebuyers from Bryan Baeumler.…
Jared Kushner named senior advisor to President based on ability to have sex with Ivanka
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A member of Donald Trump’s transition team revealed this week that son-in-law Jared Kushner will be named a senior advisor to the President, based on the fact that he possesses…
Trust me, I’m a former tobacco lobbyist
By Ezra Levant You know, sometimes radicals at the political center describe me as a hack, and that really hurts my feelings. Because let me tell you something: on my solemn oath as a former toba…
Cash-strapped CBC forced to run Kellie Leitch’s ‘Dismantle the CBC’ ads
TORONTO – Trying hard to make ends meet, the CBC has agreed to allow Conservative Party leadership candidate Kellie Leitch to run two weeks worth of advertising calling for the elimination …
TTC to become #1 transit system in North America by sabotaging other cities’ transit systems
TORONTO – Andy Byford, CEO of the Toronto Transit Commission, has promised that the TTC will become North America’s premier mass transit system by the end of 2017 through large-scale sabotage of …
Jimmy Fallon/Donald Trump lip sync battle draws mixed reactions at Golden Globes
BEVERLY HILLS – Tonight’s 74th annual Golden Globes award ceremony experienced an awkward hiccup earlier tonight when host Jimmy Fallon introduced a surprise guest, president-elect Donald T…
Ultra-hip new restaurant revealed to be just stalled escalator
TORONTO—An “amazing” new restaurant which has been delighting patrons since its surprise opening two weeks ago has been revealed to be merely a stalled escalator in the middle of a downtown comme…
Anyone local man disagrees with considered ‘mainstream media’
HALIBURTON, ON – Whether it be a public broadcaster, a crowdfunded investigative journalist’s website, a local news station, or a privately-owned newspaper of note, any source local man Bre…
SeaWorld orca commits suicide by cop
ORLANDO, FL – After thirty-three years in prison, a daring escape, and a high-speed chase, SeaWorld’s prize orca, Tilikum, has committed suicide-by-cop, rather than return to his maximum se…
Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts to be renamed Axe Body Spray Fuck Dome
TORONTO – In a move that has caught local patrons off-guard, the Canadian Opera Company and multinational giant Unilever have agreed to a surprise, six-year partnership that will see the Four Sea…
