Local man manages to get in a quick 15 minute existential crisis before work everyday

MONTREAL – Saying it keeps him feeling fresh and alert, local man David Oberto has spent the last year doing high-intensity existential crisis before heading out to his job each morning. “I…

5 caskets purchased in bulk for funeral of Costco founder

MEDINA, WA – Costco co-founder Jeffrey Brotman was laid to rest last week in one of the caskets purchased in bulk found on aisle 27 near the coffee grinders and hot tubs. According to mourn…

Local man excited to eventually throw out all these vegetables he just bought

LISTOWEL, ON – Following his weekly routine, a local man has purchased several grocery bags full of expensive, fresh, and healthy vegetables today, so that he may spend the rest of the week…

Is Prince Edward County the new Hamilton that was the old Toronto?

PICTON – It’s the question that every realtor and prospective buyer is asking. Since we all know that Hamilton has been the new Toronto for several years now, is Prince Edward County the ne…

Torrie Lauren: The Wall

  Torrie tells us once and for all why we need to #buildthewall…

Just because I’m a cuck doesn’t mean I support Justin Trudeau

EDITORIAL BY A CUCK – There have been many on social media who seek to label anyone who supports Trudeau and his liberal cadre as a cuck or some variation thereof. I think this sort of lang…

Frat members form human chain to rescue beer cooler swept out to sea

FLORIDA – Earlier today, dozens of fraternity brothers from Alpha Kappa Phi braved the pounding surf and formed a human chain in a daring rescue effort to reach a beer cooler swept out to s…

Hollywood pretty sure this is the searing climate change documentary that will wake world up

HOLLYWOOD – At the premiere of An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth To Power numerous representatives from the Hollywood community expressed the belief that this would finally be the movie that mo…

Trump said the US doesn’t think about Canada so we penned this transparent plea for attention

From attacking the rights of women and people of colour; to warmongering, and enabling oligarchs, Donald Trump’s time in office has been one despicable act after another. But he may have to…

RCMP tech crime unit asks Canadians to consider all sharing one flip-phone

OTTAWA – In the wake of a series of high-profile hacks in the United States that led to terabytes worth of private data being made public, the RCMP tech crime unit has released a statement …