CALGARY, AB — A recent study has concluded that the number one choice of pornographic material for straight-identifying women is watching men sincerely apologize for the crap they have done. “It...
7 minion memes that make surprisingly salient points about Canada’s dairy supply management system
Just when you couldn’t love those lovable scamps, the Minions, anymore they start dropping knowledge on the system of quotas, tariffs and price control that make up Canada’s Supply Management system. ...
Talking snowman discovered to be Alberta man who slipped down hill
EDMONTON – A magical, talking snowman in the heart of the Edmonton river valley was recently identified as Brad Fishman, 48, who had slipped down a snowy hill three weeks earlier. “I was just sc...
Fortune and Ski Magazine mix up their lists of Top 50 moguls
NEW YORK CITY / BOULDER, CO – In an unprecedented publishing goof, both Fortune magazine and Ski Magazine have independently published a list of Top 50 moguls featuring a variety of mogul that d...
As porch thefts increase, police advise homeowners to start bringing in their porches at night
CALGARY – Police are telling homeowners that the best way to avoid the increasingly common phenomenon of porch theft is to remove the temptation and bring their porches inside rather than leave ...
CTV orders Beaverton ‘Year In Review’ NYE Special to put final nail in 2018’s coffin
TORONTO – As part of their plan to say good bye and good riddance to 2018, The Beaverton will air a One Hour New Year’s Eve Special on CTV at 10pm EST. “Unless we spend an hour recap...
EDITORIAL: Sex with no strings attached is killing my marionette fetish
BY: Simon Bradshaw I’ve turned a blind eye at premarital sex, friends with benefits, and open relationships, but there comes a point when these new fads cross a boundary. I may be an old fogey, but se...
Disgusting! Doctors performed surgery on this man and discovered his body was full of blood!
REGINA – In a story so unbelievable, it has to be true, doctors out in Regina, Saskatchewan opened up a patient’s abdomen as part of an appendix operation and made a totally gross discovery. It was fu...
Kinky anarchist enjoys autocratic asphyxiation
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Admitting he’s addicted to the rush he gets from choking members of the fascist capitalist elite, a self-described anarchist says his greatest sexual kink is autocratic asphyxia...
Police stopping more drivers for random roadside jesting
TIMMINS, ON – A record number of motorists across the country have been pulled over by police for mandatory roadside jesting. A recent report has shown that since new jesting laws were passed in...
