TIMMINS, ON – A record number of motorists across the country have been pulled over by police for mandatory roadside jesting.
A recent report has shown that since new jesting laws were passed in December of this year, over 50,000 drivers were forced to listen to an officers dashing remark, clever one-liner, or practical joke. Refusing to smirk or laugh may lead to an arrest, roadside suspension, and hurt feelings.
“We’re here to make the roads more entertaining for everyone,” said OPP Sgt Maurice Hammel holding his book of jokes at a roadside stop outside of Timmins. “If you don’t follow the rules, there’s going to be some real pun-ishment.”
“Oh, I have to write that one down!” said another officer who overheard Hammel’s mild joke.
The Canadian Civil Liberties Association has condemned the jesting laws claiming that it assumes everyone is in the mood to hear a wisecrack.
“These laws have already allowed police to use excessive parodies on drivers who may not want to hear an officer’s Donald Trump impersonation,” said civil rights lawyer Farnaz Ahmed. “These laws clearly target people with no sense of humour.”
Back at the police jesting stop, Sgt Hammel had already netted a poor sport.
“Sir, you’re going to have to step out of the car, put your hands on the hood, and listen to my 15 minute stand-up routine,” Hammel commanded. “And if I hear any heckling, you’re coming back to the station.”