TORONTO — Neighbourhood creep Roger Andrews wants you to know that he has been watching you every night for the past six months, and has become extremely worried about your increasingly declinin...
Trudeau promises “best ever” reconciliation speech after RCMP break down Indigenous barricade for pipeline
HOUSTON, B.C. — As the RCMP arrested 14 people at the Gidimt’en camp, which is blocking access for pipeline construction, Prime Minister Trudeau pledged that his reconciliation speech woul...
Autopsy confirms Paddy Murphy died of alcohol poisoning
ST JOHN’S – An autopsy of Patrick Murphy has confirmed that the local man died after a long night of binge drinking with his friends on George Street. “Every drink in the place was full the nigh...
New homestyle restaurant just Lean Cuisines from the 90’s
TORONTO – A new restaurant in Toronto’s hip Entertainment District, Microwave Loven, seeks to replicate home made, traditional comfort food from people’s childhood by mainly serving microwaveabl...
Sandra Oh makes history by becoming first good thing to come out of Ottawa
OTTAWA – Last night was a night of firsts, as Sandra Oh became the first person of Asian descent to host the Golden Globes, the first woman of Asian descent to win multiple Golden Globes, and ce...
Scheer to follow awkward Christmas message with very awkward Valentines message
OTTAWA –- Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has announced he will top his uncomfortable 2018 Christmas message to the nation with an even squickier video set to be released on February 14th. According...
Yellow vests in Canada: ‘We’re not racist if you ignore the things we say and do’
EDMONTON – Setting the record straight, members of the populist yellow vest movement are claiming that they are tolerant and respectful if you ignore what they have been saying and doing. “There...
Makeup-free woman actually is pretty tired, thank you for noticing
TORONTO – Felicity McMurray, 33, was overwhelmed with gratitude on Monday after she accidentally left the house without makeup and received constant concerned observations about how utterly exha...
QUIZ: Can you name any of the newly elected United States congresswomen and why not?
The United States government has just sworn in their new congress, a group that is made up of most diverse representatives in United States history. While you seem to be happy with what has been a his...
Diet based on food linked to early death
VANCOUVER – Research scientists at the University of British Columbia have published a ground-breaking study that suggests that individuals whose diet is mostly made up of food have an incredibly high...
