OTTAWA – Locals from the Ottawa-Gatineau area have spontaneously constructed an extensive trailer park to fit its new role as Canada’s tornado alley. Over 200 mobile homes and trailers have been...
Money finally arrives in your account after harrowing 5-day transfer
TORONTO – Overcoming seemingly impossible odds after having faced a gruelling heroic journey deep within the bowels of the financial system, the $67.89 you transferred from PayPal to your bank a...
Corner store clerks have busy weekend issuing lifetime bans to disruptive customers
TORONTO – Clerks at corner stores across the province were kept busy last weekend kicking out elected officials performing staged photos in front of empty shelves and issuing them lifetime bans....
Trump fails to notice that Royals sent cast of “The Crown” to greet him
LONDON — While in London on an official state visit, US President Donald Trump failed to recognize that Buckingham Palace had sent the cast of Netflix’s The Crown in place of the actual Royal Fa...
Volunteer announces plan to build white saviour complex in Africa
TORONTO – In a well meaning attempt to uphold and reinforce neo-colonialism, volunteer Rebecca “Becky” Smith-Anderson has submitted a proposition to build a white saviour complex somewhere in Af...
Life Hack: This woman paid off her debts entirely by switching to men’s products!
Listen up ladies, life is expensive enough. But do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that you’re paying way too much for everyday items just because you identify as female? Well then congratulation...
Jason Kenney vows to sue wildfires for defaming oil industry
EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jason Ke...
Trump refuses to visit Canada until government destroys McCain SuperFries
OTTAWA – The Canadian government was contacted by Trump aides today, demanding the removal of all McCain products from Canadian food suppliers in order keep the American president from thinking ...
Andrew Scheer still hoping someone about to throw him surprise belated birthday party
OTTAWA – Andrew Scheer appeared distracted during a caucus meeting today, as sources say the Federal Conservative Leader was clearly expecting some kind of belated surprise party to celebrate h...
Democrats plan even more strongly-worded letter asking Trump to follow the rules please
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s press conference leaving impeachment up to Congress, House Democrats have announced they will instead send President Trump “an ...
