Listen up ladies, life is expensive enough. But do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that you’re paying way too much for everyday items just because you identify as female? Well then congratulations because for once you’re not hysterical, you’re correct!
Luckily for you, one brave woman has discovered a revolutionary hack to erase all her debts AND stick it to the patriarchal systems that attempt to dictate our every waking moment. This saucy broad simply went straight to the men’s aisle for literally everything women need to exist in the world!!!
“I couldn’t believe it,” said 35-year-old Marlene Thompson, sitting comfortably in a pair of men’s pants, hands casually stuffed into their extra-wide pockets. “I managed to pay off over $10,000 in debt in under a year just by asking for men’s haircuts! It was so simple. My whole life I thought I needed things like expensive, specially-tailored pink pens for my fragile woman hands. Now, I’m proud to say I recently used a cheap Man Pen™ to sign the lease to my new car!”
Evidence has shown that just by switching to products such as men’s razors, women can easily make their rent every month, and the act of purchasing men’s shampoo can quickly take care of an entire semester’s worth of university tuition.
“Not only did using men’s body lotion allow me to save enough to pay off my student loan payments, but it also had the added benefit of making me feel like a badass shark that could fight bears by punching them in the face,” Thompson enthused. “Women’s lotion just made me feel like I had bathed in a vat of chemically-charged peonies. I’m never going back.”
For ambitious women looking to not only pay off their debts, but actually save money, Thompson recommends asking your boss to help you gain up to 20% more income by switching to the “Men’s Salary” at work.