Toronto Sun offers weekly column to arsonist who targeted refugee hotel
TORONTO — Following an attempted arson at the Radisson Toronto, which appeared to be inspired in part by Toronto Sun columns regarding refugees staying in the hotel, the Sun has offered a w…
Please keep paying attention to me
By: Stephen Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada You likely heard some news stories about me recently. You might have heard that I think Canada’s pandemic spending is overkill. Or that I…
Study finds old people who claim they have no regrets actually have lots of regrets
KAMLOOPS, BC – A study by the Canadian Institute of Geriatrics has discovered a direct correlation between people who claim they lived a life without regrets and people who actually have a …
Local woman fears she’s become a secondary character in a horror movie
VANCOUVER – Penelope Fagan doesn’t know exactly when she became a supporting character in a horror movie but she’s certain that’s what’s happening to her. “It all started when my friend Bet…
India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit
DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…
30-year old woman drinking water at bar wants you to know she’s not pregnant
CALGARY -—During a friend’s birthday party at O’Malley’s bar, 30-year-old, recently married marketing consultant Annie Pierre has reportedly assured upwards of 12 attendees that, despite her refu…
Baby never happier than when vomiting
CALGARY —- Researchers have confirmed that 9-month old Grace McMillan, despite enjoying other activities such as interacting with loved ones and playing with toys, reaches greatest levels of happ…
Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver
KAMLOOPS, BC – Upon catching sight of his sleepless, bloodshot eyes in the mirror, new father Daniel Lutsky took a wistful, early-dawn moment to remember his days of being disheveled and sl…
François Legault assures Muslim, Sikh, Jewish civil servants that they are free to wear crucifixes to work
QUEBEC CITY — Premier-designate François Legault has assured Quebec citizens that, since the crucifix is a historical symbol and not a religious one, civil servants of other faiths should f…
Desperate zoo hopes use of Jurassic Park font will spice things up
KINDERSLEY, SK – After years of failing to connect with the zoo-going public, the struggling Kindersley Zoo has made a last ditch attempt to combat lagging attendance and poor online review…