Woman who escaped religious oppressors trapped in photo with secular oppressor
PARIS – Nobel Peace prize winner and advocate for access to education for women, Malala Yousafzai, escaped the clutches of religious oppressors in her native Pakistan seven years ago only t…
Canadian airlines vow to fight court ruling that passengers aren’t luggage
OTTAWA – Canadian airlines are taking the federal government to the highest court in the land in hopes of quashing the recently upheld air passenger bill of rights that punishes airlines fi…
Alberta looks for new dying, volatile industry to tie economy to
CALGARY — One of the United Conservative Party’s first acts is to create a brand new task force to find a replacement for the oil sands as the erratic, short term linchpin of Alberta’s econ…
Ontario Minister Lisa MacLeod apologizes to Senators owner for outburst after mistaking him for parent of child with autism
OTTAWA – Ontario Minister of Tourism, Culture, and Sport Lisa MacLeod has apologized to Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk for mistaking him for any parent of a child with autism. “I apolo…
Millennial contract killer struggles in gig economy
TORONTO – As the gig economy continues to devastate any sense of job security among millennials, the hitman industry has been one of the hardest hits. “Jesus Christ, I mean, you’ve got civilian U…
Life Hack! Destroy all semblance of happiness by turning your hobbies into barely profitable side hustles!
Hey Millennials! How many times have you caught yourself saying, “Man, between the terrible job market, climate change, resurgence of actual Nazis, and having no money for rent or basic necessiti…
This year’s song of the summer just podcast about impeachment
TORONTO —- In what musicologists and pop chart analysts are calling an unprecedented trend, patterns in digital downloads, youtube views and online engagement all indicate that this year’s song o…
Kawhi Leonard issues restraining order on 37 million Canadians
TORONTO – Claiming he is being stalked, NBA Champion Kawhi Leonard has placed a restraining order on the entire country including members of the media, fans, and gawkers. The order requires…
Nation’s toddlers refusing to budge on no-nap policy
OTTAWA – With negotiations dragging on until well-past 3pm, the nation’s parents say they have reached an impasse with their toddlers, who are steadfastly maintaining a strict no-nap policy…
Ford claims carbon tax recklessly rear-ended him in latest legal attempt
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford appeared at an Ontario Superior Court with his injury lawyer claiming he was involved in a motor vehicle collision last night with the carbon tax, and announced …
