B.C. government says millions in subsidies necessary to prevent fracking industry from packing up natural gas deposits and leaving

VICTORIA – Responding to a report finding the B.C. provincial government gave $663 million in subsidies to natural gas producers last year, Premier John Horgan is adamant that these subsidi…

Report: 6 more ethics violations will win Trudeau a free 6 inch sub at Parliament’s cafeteria

OTTAWA – Ethics Commissioner Mario Dion said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau only has to violate the Conflict of Interest Act six more times before receiving a free six inch submarine sandwic…

Ontario government replaces OSAP with Taylor Swift

TORONTO – After superstar Taylor Swift made a generous donation to support a fan’s tuition fees, the Ontario government has announced that the American singer-songwriter will now be the onl…

Watch: Season 3, Episode 4

  Emma and Miguel take down Canada’s gun lobby; Ann Pornel dishes on extreme celebrity diets.…

Silicon Valley pioneers climate hacking as way to solve climate change, totally fuck over planet

  Recklessly messing with the environment got us into this mess, so maybe recklessly messing with the environment can get us out of this mess…

Study: Canadians favourite summer activity is pretending to enjoy camping

  “This is fun, right?”…

Oh great, the Gastown Steam Clock is vaping now

UGH. Just when you wanted some relief from that tacky tourist clock Vancouverites love to hate, the timepiece has taken up vaping so it can be even more unbearable. It seems like this young, impr…

Improved mall map tells visitors how to just get to the goddamned Cinnabon

BURLINGTON – Visitors to an Ontario mall are raving about the newly implemented map system which clearly and concisely communicates to visitors how to just get to the freakin’ Cinnabon already. “…

Report: Ford tried to obtain neuralyzer to make people forget past year

TORONTO – A recent Freedom of Information request has revealed Ontario Premier Doug Ford has attempted to obtain a neuralyzer like the one featured in the Men in Black film series. Accordin…

Conservatives drop private school tax deduction after realizing higher enrollment might lead to poors mixing with the quality

OTTAWA – As the federal election looms, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer has gone back on his promise to give a $4000 tax credit to offset the costs of private school tuition after wealthy…