Ontario cuts French-sounding words from government services
TORONTO – The province of Ontario has announced it will be eliminating any words used in government services that Premier Doug Ford finds ‘French-sounding.’ 45% of various nouns and verbs u…
Fax machine now oldest employee in office
News in Photos Image via Deposit Photos…
Gender-affirming surgery “not what God intended,” says woman with breast implants
WATERLOO, ON – A local woman has come out firmly against the use of gender-affirming surgery, calling on transgender people to ‘love your body the way God made it,’ even though she is a frequen…
Facebook down: Millions of users took to the streets to yell out their personal data in hopes of being heard by advertisers, spy agencies
MENLO PARK, CA – Millions of loyal Facebook users took to the streets across North America and Europe to yell out their personal data during an outage earlier today. “I live in San Antonio,…
Liberals slip clause into omnibus bill making it illegal to point out they criticized Conservatives for slipping clauses into omnibus bills
OTTAWA – As Bill C-86, the Liberal’s latest omnibus budget bill, winds its way through the Canadian legislative process, the few people who’ve managed to read the entire 850 page document a…
Connoisseur wants to know the hashtag for this art exhibit
TORONTO – After taking a selfie right outside the gallery entrance, a local art aficionado has asked Art Gallery of Ontario staff earlier today what the hashtag is for an exhibit, entitled …
St. Michael’s faculty, parents insist they’ve had a long talk with students about properly covering up hazing
TORONTO — Following a police investigation into graphic reports of sexual assault among the students at St. Michael’s private Catholic boys school, the faculty as well as some parents…
Calgary euthanizes aging Olympic mascots
CALGARY – With the fate of the Calgary Winter Olympics bid rejected by the public in a plebiscite, beloved 1988 Winter Olympic mascots Hidy and Howdy were euthanized yesterday. Those in fav…
Wikipedia shuts down due to crippling $3.00 deficit
SAN FRANCISCO – Internet encyclopedia Wikipedia revealed today that it will cease operation after suffering an insurmountable deficit of $3.00 this fiscal year. “Our accountants said …
Ontario PCs pass resolution to only recognize the two genders: folks and elites
TORONTO – At their party convention this weekend, Ontario Progressive Conservatives passed a resolution concluding that there are only two genders: hard-working, business-owning, mortgage-paying …
