Support for impeachment reaches 99% among occupants of White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – Recent polling data has astounded political experts with results suggesting that support for the impeachment of President Donald Trump has reached 99% among those who live and w…
Impeachment hearings relocated to Vancouver to reduce production costs
VANCOUVER – The hit new show Impeachment Inquiry has relocated its set from Washington DC to Vancouver saving US networks millions in production costs. The CSPAN drama featuring rising star…
Podcaster Don Cherry’s attempt to read MeUndies ad quickly goes off the rails
Mississauga, ON – In the midst of recording a new episode of his podcast ‘Grapevine’ host Don Cherry’s attempt to read aloud an ad for online underwear vendor MeUndies too…
Pragmatic supervillain sets sights on conquering small Midwestern township
LANESBORO, MN – Residents of a tiny American township were mildly confused last week when Professor Mastermind, a prolific supervillain famous for his use of mind control, announced that he…
Liberal appointed Minister of the Lower Class has to take bus to cabinet meetings
OTTAWA – In the wake of the Liberal government appointing the first Minister for Middle Class Prosperity, the lesser known Minister of the Lower Class will be required to commute to cabinet…
Nuclear technician wishes that alarm in the background would cut it out
LOCATION CLASSIFIED — 14 hours into an 18 hour shift at a nuclear missile silo, technician Jordan Summers has expressed a wish that that “dang alarm would cut it out already.” “I’m still ki…
Lost dog finds himself in Bali
BALI – Earlier this week it was confirmed that Kevin, a lost German Shepard who first rose to Insta fame after posting a pic in his ‘favourite houndstooth sweater’, has recently found himse…
Are hedgehogs getting sexier? Hollywood says yes
Move over, Bambi’s mom. Hollywood’s animated creature kingdom just got hotter. Following widespread outcry over the unalluring appearance of Sonic the Hedgehog in the first trailer for his new fi…
Blood-stained Jason Kenney fires police officers investigating murder
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has announced $2 million more in savings for government coffers after firing the police officers investigating him on suspicion of murder. “Making co…
Trudeau announces new roster of future liabilities
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced his new and larger cabinet, consisting of at least four ministers who are predicted to betray him by the next election. Since the SNC-Lavalin …
