Most affordable apartments in Toronto revealed to be bathroom stalls in club
TORONTO – A young professional in Toronto was astonished to learn that the city’s most affordable apartments are actually located in the bathroom stalls of a club, whose name and location remains…
STUDY: Average Canadian reads 97% less after getting too old for Scholastic book fair
HALIFAX — Researchers at Dalhousie University have determined that most Canadians’ volume of reading plummets over 97% after they leave elementary school, and thusly age out of the Scholast…
Emergency officials construct fake disaster zone for politicians to disrupt
OTTAWA – Government officials at the federal, provincial, and municipal levels have finished the construction of a fake flooded area to distract political leaders from disrupting real disas…
Male feminist superhero fighting crime in heels to show solidarity
NEW YORK – The leader of the world’s most elite mixed gender superhero team is demonstrating his heroic nature in a different way this week by wearing heels to work in what he calls a gestu…
7 fun facts about Canada that are neither fun nor facts
Have you ever wanted to know obscure, pointless, and flat-out inaccurate facts about this great nation, which will also leave you feeling kinda bummed out? Well, have we got a list for you! Check…
Ford government cancels tree planting program after learning trees also want to eliminate carbon
TORONTO – In a move harshly criticized by environmentalists nationwide, the Ford government announced yesterday that it is cancelling a program that would have seen 50 million new trees planted i…
The cast of The Wizard of Oz: Where are they now?
Everyone knows the beloved Hollywood classic The Wizard Of Oz. It has touched both young and old for generations, and ushered in a new age of fantastical cinema. But you wanna feel old? Following…
Study finds cycling healthiest way to get hit by a car
MONTREAL – Confirming the widely-held belief popular amongst people who commute by bicycle, a new study has found that cycling is by far the healthiest way to get hit by a car and laid out …
“I’m running for president,” Joe Biden whispers into the ears of an uncomfortable nation
WASHINGTON D.C. – Joe Biden announced his third run for the Democratic presidential nomination today by slinking his arms around the waist of The United States of America, smelling its hair…
The Top 5 documentaries that will kick start you right into a major depression
In our current cultural and political climate, truth is often stranger, scarier, and more uplifting than fiction – which is why it’s no surprise that documentaries are having a renaissance in 201…