If I do not inculcate ideals of violence and aggression in my son, how will he appreciate cowboy movies?
By Herbert Smimmer A time in our lives has arrived when words like “toxic masculinity” are getting thrown around like we used to throw around baseballs before fathers got too busy watching RuPaul…
Jason Kenney blasts Rachel Notley for not loving Alberta enough to commit electoral fraud to win party leadership
CALGARY – After weeks of denial, Jason Kenney has changed tack and is not only leaning into the allegations that he committed fraud to win the UCP leadership race in 2017, but is questionin…
‘Maybe this is the year the Leafs beat Boston,’ says delusional idiot who doesn’t know shit
TORONTO – Local man Dennis Hendricks believes this could be the year the Leafs finally end their playoff losing streak against the Boston Bruins, mostly because he’s a dumb fuck who says du…
Man who just open mouthed sneezed into your ear is pretty sure it’s just allergies
JASPER, AB — On her usual morning commute, Ainsley Stephens, 26, has been informed that the strange man who sneezed into her ear without covering his mouth “has allergies, not a cold,…
Pro-vaccine conspiracy theorists demand measles inoculation be added to CIA’s chemtrail program
PORTLAND, OR – A group of concerned conspiracy theorists is demanding the US government add the measles vaccine to the CIA’s population control, experimentation, and chemical warfare chemtr…
Local man shaves beard after forgetting how dumb face looks
Sudbury, ON – Minnow Lake resident Callum Wraas has cut his beard after nine months, only to remember its original purpose of shielding his dumb face from the view of others. “It’s not that…
Doug Ford announces new Toronto subway lines, cancels them before end of conference
TORONTO — Speaking to reporters, Ontario premier Doug Ford cancelled the city’s plans for a downtown relief subway line before announcing his own “Ontario Line” subway, which he also then p…
Kenney vows to personally strangle every BC resident
CALGARY – UCP leader Jason Kenney says that he’s willing to personally murder all 5 million residents of British Columbia with his bare hands if the BC provincial government does not approv…
YouTube warns white nationalist groups promoting race war that videos better not violate copyright
SAN BRUNO, CA – Video-sharing website and Google subsidiary YouTube has announced a strict new policy of reiterating its only response to white nationalism: swiftly pulling videos that viol…
Woman dressed like it’s -5°c and man dressed like it’s +40°c meet for lunch
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