Thorough catcaller tells all mask-wearing women to smile
TORONTO – As more and more women don face masks in an attempt to protect themselves and others from the novel coronavirus, catcallers across the city are finding themselves growing increasingly f…
“Yes, but so many seniors are still alive,” says Premier Legault
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault defended his government’s decision to re-open schools, businesses, and private care homes despite the COVID-19 pandemic by pointing out that th…
Spine of woman crouched in front of laptop achieves Golden Ratio
MARKHAM, ON – In the act of crouching over her laptop for hours on end, Salma Kuchis managed to finally curl her spine perfectly into the approximation of the Golden Ratio. “Here I was thin…
Quebec suddenly fine with people covering their faces
QUEBEC CITY – As the province re-opens the government of Quebec has decided they’re actually super cool with teachers, civil servants and people accessing government services covering their…
Caroline In The City cast reunites for pandemic episode for some reason
HOLLYWOOD — As people across the world continue to self-quarantine during the COVID-19 crisis, the cast of mid-90s NBC sitcom Caroline In The City will reunite for a one-time pandemic-theme…
Visiting kids excited to give mom the gift of coronavirus
HAMILTON – Many adult kids blowing off social distancing for Mother’s Day are looking forward to repaying their mothers for 18 years of love and financial support with a potentially deadly diseas…
Report: Nothing accomplished in Zoom meetings as everyone distracted checking themselves out
TORONTO, ONT. – According to a new report published in Business Quarterly magazine, a significant majority of Canadian workplaces confirm that Zoom meetings are increasingly unproductive a…
Justice Department decides doing a crime that you did doesn’t mean you did the crime that you definitely did
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Department of Justice has withdrawn charges against Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. DOJ prosecutors had previously …
Local man tries to think of chill excuse to buy erotic books at yard sale
WINNIPEG – This week, local bargain-hunter Darryl Smith failed to come up with a convincing excuse to buy several volumes of erotic literature at a garage sale. Expecting to find an old cop…
Recently fired man sadly leaves home office
VICTORIA, BC – Following his termination from his project manager job at which he has been working remotely, local man Corey Nielson is reportedly beginning the joyless task of clearing the…
